The Secret To The World's Best Education

Autumn always means school whether you are six, or sixty.  And with the start of school, comes the annual deabte, in-fighting, and discussion about what is the best educational choice for our children.  The private school snobs who snear at us public school people, or the public school rejects who feel forced into private school because of a local system that doesn't meet their needs.  The arguments go both ways, everyway, and all around the issue.  I find it disheartening that everyone misses what is important in these discussions.
Eight years as a GED examiner for the state of Oregon (plus 18 credits college level education classes), has taught me much.  Through my profession, I have seen EVERY reason why kids don't succeed in school, from the military "brats" who can't bear to start yet another new school their senior year of high school, to the home-school kid who let his mom do all the talking, to the home-school kid who was in a nutshell, spoiled.  When I say we have seen every reason for NOT succeeding in school, I am not mincing words.  From pregnancy to personality conflicts with a teacher to conflicts in the family to prison; we have heard it all.
So let me share a secret, as I listen to parents argue, sometime vehemently, for their choice of education and why it is so damn awesome.  The secret to the best education for your child is.....be involved!!!  I can hear the groans: people want to hear about a particular school or program that will crank out the next Albert Einstein. They want an easy answer with no thought behind it.  They want to pay their tution and call it good.  But after seeing dozens of program graduates walk through my door, I can tell you that NOTHING replaces a good parent. 
Being involved can mean a hundred different things.  It can mean working full-time and making sure you check homework at the end of the day and making sure there is engaging conversations at the dinner table.  It can mean being a stay-at-home parent, and volunteering in your child's classroom.  Sometimes it means home-school for kids who need more attention, and it can mean public school for those trying to meet friends from a new neighborhood.  Maybe for your family it means private school education so your kids get a lesson in the values you cherish most. 
Being involved DOES NOT mean forcing kids into a top-notch program they aren't ready for, because you heard great things.  It doesn't mean doing your kids homework, so they have the best grades.  (On a side note, ask me about the number of straight A students I have seen fail.)  Being invovled means looking at our children, knowing their personalities, knowing what we really want for our families, and making a decision that may not work for the rest of the world.  That takes a whole lot more work than simply sending our kids off to harvard and hoping for the best, because even Harvard has it's failures-they just don't like to talk about them. 
Parenting is a tough gig.  You take work home with you AND on the road, the job description changes CONSTANTLY, and not much appreciation, but the worst part is the never-ending criticism we give each other.  The people who should understand the best, as they are in the trenches with me, seem to be the ones quick to question what I am doing.  I understand why-the job is filled with self doubt!!!  But I wish we could rise above it and be more supportive of each other.
So what is the secret to the world's best education?  The parent, the parent, the parent.  Long, hours, no pay, and little reward for 25 years.  The world's best job, eh?

What Works For Us

If you think I am going to bash the Boy Scouts, guess again.  I have seen too many fine young gentlemen come through that program, and there is no way I can begrudge them, nor their parents, for making a decision that worked for their family.
I also add yet another disclaimer to yet another blog-I reserve the right to change my mind yet again.  I have been flip flopping about whether the Boy Scouts is right for us, since Asa turned four.  As of today, I have flipped yet again:  this time to no.
As a parent, trying to get my male child invovled in the great outdoors, the Boy Scouts has held a certain appeal to me.  Camping, hiking, and lots of other honorable goals, all in a nice, neat tidy package.  And while a lot of people ask me if I am concerned about the recent spat of molestations, I would argue that ANY organization and ANY family is at risk for that insidiousness anywhere, anytime. (Ask Catholics how safe they feel now?)  As the person who would be volunteering to be the pack leader, I am not worried one iota for Asa's safety in that arena. 
What saddens me most, is the continued REFUSAL to accept self-identified homosexuals into Boy Scouts-especially after we have learned who the real predators are.  I am not angry about it, nor will I make a big stink.  That may surprise a few people, considering who I hang out with.  A lesbian is up for taking guardianship of our children, should anything happen to Nick or I.  But honestly, since no one in our immediate family identifies as homosexual, what harm would there be in joining a group that offers a lot of benefits to my kids?   I am also the first to say that organizations have the right to pick their membership.  As a Jew, do I really want pro-Nazi's among my members?  As a bumper-sticker carrying omnivore, do I really want a vegetarian sitting next to me at my next make-believe club meeting?  When we talk membership to certain groups, you have to realize it goes both ways.  If I am being selective, I can't fault others for doing the same thing.  All valid points, when I keep thinking about joining.
However, recently I was reminded of incident my mom told me about.  In the autumn of 1958, my aunt was a freshman at U of O, and like many young woman before and since, she wanted to be in a sorority.  This sorority however did her the honor of blackballing her-because she was Jewish.  Because she wasn't allowed in, some of her friends opted not to join either.  Because of this, the sorority reversed its position of Jews in their House and my aunt broke the "religious barrier", becoming the first opne Jew to be in that sorority.  And no-I don't know the name of the sorority.  What I do know is that wonderful things happen when friends stick up for one another.
At the end of the day, when I look at the Boy Scouts, all I can keep thinking, is that this is our turn to stand up and say "sorry, since my friends can't join, I don't want to either".  Maybe one day they will reverse this position and allow ALL worthy people in, or maybe one day I will realize that this isn't the time nor place to take a stand.  However, on this day, at this time, we will say no thank-you, and find something that works better for our family. 

Let My People...Go Outside

I have to admit it, I am being a curmudgeon in this post.  You know-getting all grumpy about A)something I can't control, and B)something that really doesn't matter.  But sometimes it feels good to get jiggy with my curmudgeon side, so today I am rolling with it.
Facebook, and chain e-mails, seems to love sending around the "remember when" ditty's.  Rememeber when gas was a quarter?  Remember when the sexiest thing on tv was "Love Boat"?  Remember how we actually had Christmas Vacation and not Winter Break?  Remember how we smoked during pregnancy AND snacked on lead paint chips?  I usually roll my eyes or jog down memory lane for just a wee bit, even though most of these are not to interesting.  However, there is one that always frustrates me.  Remember when we actually played outside and the street lights going on meant it was time for home?
I can't change the price of a loaf of bread, and I wish we could go back to the days of LESS reality tv, but seriously, if you want to see kids play outside, LET YOUR KIDS OUTSIDE!!  Seriously, we can solve this one. I hear people lament about this one all the time, about kids not going outside anymore, and it frustrates me because it is so easily solved.
Ohhhh, I know what people will say.  The possible bee stings, broken bones, or fights from bullies.  Kids can get bit by dogs, scratched by cats, or chased by rabid possums.  They could get weird germs from playing in the gutter, or the dog poop in my front yard.  What if they eat the weird berries, or worse, someone tries to abduct them? 
The truth is, statistically, kids are safer than ever before.  With bicycle helmets, immunizations, and sunscreens, kids today have protections most of us over 40 never dreamed of.  And while I wish abductions never happened, the truth is, most children are taken by someone they know.  So why are we so damn scared to let our kids out?  Every headline seems like our backyard.  The worst you can imagine may have happened half way around the world, but still, it happened, scarying us into fat kids who view the outdoors as the worst place to be.
Just because statistically kids are safer doesn't mean you have to let your guard down.  I don't send my kids out to play in highway traffic with hunting knives because hey, statistically they are safer now then 20 years ago.  I still go with my 6 year old to the restroom at the mall, and I never let my kids out in the front yard unless I am out front too.  Statistic might relieve my mind, but my heart still has to see those horrid stories about kids not coming home due to a predator.  However, what I can do as a parent is make sure I am giving my kids the opportunities I had.  I go out front so they can.  I let them play in my fenced in backyard, even though they could break something.  I watch them make up weird games, and sometimes pretend I don't see them poking at the dog poop so they can snickeer about it later.  And I would challenge any parent concerned that their kids weren't getting to watch the street lights come on in the summer, to do the same.  Childhood is calling...go enjoy it.  So there.........

Scout Properties

Regarding the Long Range Property Plan:

I have been a Girl Scout member since 1978 (an adult member since 1990).  My credentials are such that  I worked as a resident counselor at Arrowhead for four summers,  spent one summer doing Brownie Camp at Mountaindale, and I am currently gearing up for my fourth summer as a day-camp counselor.  In addition, I worked at outdoor school here in Oregon, and Pennsylvania, and spent a summer as a day camp counselor for Campfire.

My original intention was to comment on Homestead; the scout property closest to my service area.  After reading the report however, I find that I have several comments to make.

Considering the leadership that Girl Scouts had regarding outdoor programming in the 1970’s and ‘80’s, I am incredibly dismayed to discover so many of our properties with deferred maintenance issues.  Even the “best” of our camps, have adequate facilities at best.  Considering the role Girl Scouts has played in outdoor education, I find that leadership has let us down to have so many properties needing so much attention.  Particularly disturbing was Marilyn’s Place at Mountaindale.  Despite the apparent age of the facility, it is actually quite “young” compared to facilities at numerous other camps and yet there are already significant drawbacks to programming and general usage.  As we consider the future of our program, and what we have to offer, I hope that mistakes of the past, either mismanagement or poor planning,  can be avoided.  Buildings constructed should not be considered “past their prime” within a few decades.  Properties should not be allowed to disintegrate, and then hope they can be spun-off because of upgrading costs.  All of our membership deserves more than that. 

For decades, most outdoor opportunities for girls and young women was through the Girl Scouts.  Now that we have achieved so much, it seems as if scouts wants to push us back.  Our council sits on prime sites-either because of their ruggedness, or proximity to urban areas.  We have the ability to be leaders once again in this arena.  I would argue that we work to save all sites regardless of our personal thoughts.  Obviously I  will be biased to the ones closest to me, but I would argue that some of the sites I am unfamiliar with have their supporters as well.  Re-alignment is barely two years old.  Most of us are still grappling with the idea that Grants Pass, Newport, and Portland are all of the same council.  We should be given more time to explore some of these areas that are so new to us.  We should take into consideration the expected influx of “new arrivals” to the Pacific NW in the next twenty years, and especially look closely at ALL properties by urban areas. 

The question always remains, how to provide AND pay for the things we wish to accomplish.  The obvious answer is that IF there are in fact no properties in the entire council area that NO ONE has emotional ties to, it should be sold, or otherwise dealt with accordingly.  I have already stated I have low hopes for that being the case, but if I am wrong, I support a sale.  I would also argue about the type of programming we can offer at these sites.  Most of the sites are poised for excellent outdoor education-from simple to extreme.  The first time hiker with a daisy troop should find access readily available, but some of the older girls would enjoy learning wilderness rescue, extreme camping, and outdoor survival.  And while outdoor education is always a positive, there are other ways to utilize these properties.  In the mid-1980’s, I attended an overnight in The Dalles with the sole purpose of completing a badge.  Our council overnight facilities can be used for this again.  Also let the membership know that girls from Portland might love to know where overnight facilities are in the Medford area, just as girls from K. Falls would love an opportunity to learn about the Columbia River Gorge.  Encourage troops to do educational trips to these “exotic” locales.  Council needs to “sell” these trips.  Maybe instead of “Wider Opportunities”, we do “Local Opportunities”.  Mini-trips planned around the location of the scout houses.  I myself can envision a four night trip to The Dalles to learn about the geology of the Gorge, or maybe a three night stay at the Albany or Eugene house for seniors in high school, to check out colleges in the area (Univ. of Ore., Ore. State, AND Western Ore. Univ. are all within an hour’s drive of each other).  There also might be opportunities for girls to partake in upgrading the facilities.  While building a brand new lodge is probably not realistic, older girls might relish the opportunity to learn how to build a new Adirondack at Arrowhead or Whispering Winds; saving money AND teaching useful skills.  Trail building, healthy forest management, painting simple outbuildings, are all activities that can be appropriately managed for different ages and skill levels.  We need to look “outside the box” of what the great outdoors is, and re-define it to be more acceptable to the 21^st century.  We need to do the same with how we can utilize the valuable sites we have.

In regards to Homestead specifically, I find it disheartening that once again, a property on the east side of the Portland-metro area is in danger of being let go.  We in this area seem to have to fight for a space to send our girls.  And it certainly isn’t because we aren’t interested.  Arrowhead saw healthy numbers of participants, and yet was still allowed to disintegrate, seemingly with the hopes the membership wouldn’t want to spend money to preserve it.  The number of visits days Homestead is visited is listed as 105, a misleadingly low number.  That is not even half the days of a given year.  However, it does represent almost every single weekend, which shows the immense interest in this valuable site.  Those of us who live near this site are willing to take an active role in its usage and preservation.  We have shown our utmost dedication by actually using this site, repeatedly.  If this site is taken from us, where would we have the kind of access elsewhere?  The committee stated it was willing to make sure girls had access to other areas, if one site became unavailable, so where would east county go?  While Mountaindale and Arrowhead are both great areas, they are not as close in proximity as Homestead, nor are they as convenient for smaller programs.  I ask again, what would replace Homestead?

 I would bet that any service area would fight for the sites it deems emotionally valuable.  Council, and the committee, need to let us, the membership take an active role in not only Homestead but every site we have ownership of.  Because the girls are repeatedly begging for different opportunities, and we have the possibility to provide them, it needs to be done.  But we need new thinking, and new ideas, to get these properties ready for the future, and declaring them to decayed and bothersome, is not the way to do it. 

Outdoor School

The disclaimer to this blog is: I am 100% behind efforts to keep the Outdoor School Program (any Outdoor School Program) up and running, so this blog is biased.  This is not some balanced piece explaining both sides; this is a disgruntled club memeber upset the club might be closing. As a 6th grader who attended Outdoor School in the Fall of 1983, as the Junior Counselor 3x over between 1989 and 1990, AND as a Resource Counselor in the Pennsylvania Outdoor School System in 1998, you might ask yourself why I feel qualified to right this blog?  I feel qualified because I have been there, and Outdoor School is beautiful.  However, my love affair with Outdoor School actually began in 1981, as a 4th grader listening to a presentation by the 6th graders who had just returned from their Outdoor School experience.  Their stories of resources lessons, sleeping in cabins, and campfires, had me hooked.  As a two-summer veteran of summer camp, Outdoor School sounded like my kind of place.  (Since my love affair with summer camp has lasted decades, it is easy to see why I was such an easy sell!)
By the time I made it to Outdoor School 2 years later, I was a four-summer veteran of summer camp, so many of the things teachers want us to learn there went right over my head.  Eating in a group setting where everyone gets firsts before you get seconds, being independent from home and thinking for yourself, being in the forest, learning about animals, etc.  I had been there, done that-repeatedly.
However, even in my experienced state, I managed to take away two very important lessons.  I had camped several times through Girl Scouts and with my family, and had never realized that forests, like other habitats, is a science.  The web of life, watersheds, animal homes-it is all part of what we were/are.  The forests wasn't just for camping and hiking; it had/has PURPOSE.  The second thing I learned was that not everyone was like me economically.  Of course I knew that in theory; by the 6th grade we had done many projects to help those that were disadvantaged.  But no one in my neighborhood fit that category, and neither did any of my friends, ergo not in my backyard, right?  Being with kids from different areas taught me a thing or two about what disadvantaged was. 
The reality was though, I didn't walk away from Outdoor School a totally changed person.  The things I learned are important, and I am grateful for them, but I can't lie and say I became The World's Most Empthetic 6th Grader.  I was 11; not the most shining year I ever had.  However, there is another side to Outdoor School that rarely gets mentioned.  It is not in the PR I have seen, and outside the Hallowed Trees of Learning, few people realize that there is a whole another set of people learning important things at Outdoor School.  I speak of the Junior Counselors (JC for short).
Not all Outdoor Schools are run the same.  In the Portland-metro area, Outdoor School is made possible by the hundreds of high schools students who, every Fall and Spring, miss a week of regular school to make the magic of Outdoor School happen.  They receive no pay, get to make up all the homework they missed, sleep in the cabins with a bunch of 6th graders, plus teach a resource .  There are 4 Resource Subjects the 6th graders learn, and that the JC's must pick from to help teach-Water, Soil, Plants, and Animals.  (The 6th graders rotate so they get one day for each, while the JC's stay with that subject the whole week.) For the record, I spent one program week on Water, before I switched and did my last two program weeks with Animals (Granola was HOT-all the girls wanted to be on Animals!)  (And yes, we all had camp names.)
I swear on the keyboard I am using to write this: I learned more at Outdoor School as a Junior Counsleor, than I EVER learned as a 6th grader.  Of course being on Water and Animals, I can tell you all about Watersheds, and that there are eels in this area.  I got up close and personal to Helga the camp possum, and even stuck my finger in her pouch.  Yes, I am way cool.  Turkey Vultures are scavnegers that keep the forest clean, and clean water is the cornerstone of a healthy forest.  Yes, yes, yes:  Woodsy Owl and Smokey the Bear love me.
However, there is more at stake than being able to lead the best camp song at campfire:
*There are 2 JC's per cabin at night; my co-JC left midway through Outdoor School because she missed her boyfriend.  I learned about repsonibilty, follow through, and what happens when people count on me and I let them down.  (In all honesty she was a bitch and I wasn't sorry to see her go despite the added responsibilities.)
*I was the leader on the dead animal walk-an animal corpse with lots of maggots and beetles that had purposely been left near the trail so the kids could see decomposition at its finest.  (Funny thing; no JC but me was excited to lead this walk!)  However, one group of boys, who I thought would totally be into my subject, refused to stay on task.  Finally out of exasperation, I asked what was so darn interesting, besides this really cool, dead corpse.  Every single one of them answered, "the crickets."  I got pissed, and in my sternest, teenage voice declared they could look at those at home; we had a lesson to finish.  The quieter ones, followed me, but both the bolder two boys shook their heads and one of them said "no we can't; we don't have crickets at my house."   These kids were from North Portland.  Not only were crickets a rarity; going outside at night to see them wasn't done often either.  Lesson here was live animals trump dead ones, don't interrupt the learning excitement wherever it may come from, and never under-estimate the coolness of nature. 
*One little girl cried EVERYDAY that she was homesick.  When Friday rolled around, she cried that it was time to go, and was upset at all she had missed by moping for home.  I learned that time passes whether I am happy or sad.  Sharing feelings is fine, and acknowledging when I am upset is good too, but if I don't watch out, good times will pass me by when I am not looking. 
The list of lessons learned is endless:  the music expertise of one of the Resource Counselors; the special needs class that loved EVERYTHING we did; the songs that kids sang over and over and over AND over again; watching turkey vultures soar through the air; the JC that came to Outdoor School with a chewing tobacco addiction; trying to whistle after eating a saltine cracker; what happens when it rains everday; celebrating Halloween outdoors with virtual strangers.  I could go on and on, dredging up a lot of good memories.  However the reality is, there are very few experiences like this one for high school students, and it would be a damn shame to end it now.  I understand why the perception Outdoor School is a 6th grade program.  The middle schools pay for it; not the high schools.  But to limit Outdoor School to only the one demographic age, is to short change a program that benefits hundreds of students, of multiple ages, across the area.  We as a society should be looking at how the cost benefits ALL students at Outdoor School, regardless of age, and realize the price tag isn't so steep.  We also need to realize how Outdoor School benefits us all.  Year after year, 6th graders and high school students headed off to Outdoor School, grew up, and became voters in this area. Portlanders have a reputation of being pro-environment; something that I doubt happened by accident.

We learn at Outdoor School, in the Soil Resource, that there is no such thing as dirt.  Rather there are different layers of sub-strata, all with a different function but working together to form Soil.  Soil provides the basis for plant life, which in turn supports animals and air.  Outdoor School is the same way- the 6th graders are simply one layer. We need to see that there are numerous layers of Outdoor School, all working together to provide a program that supports other programs down the line.  The numerous parties involved in Outdoor School, 6th grade and high school alike, become the stewards of each other, and the planet we live on.  Not a bad exchange for anyone. 
And my camp name was, and remains, Zinka. 

Disneyland

A lot of people have asked how the trip to Disneyland was, so I am taking the lazy, high-tech way out, and just writing a blog about it.
First, despite appreances, this trip was well thought out.  We went with my parents, so the adults out-numbered the kids.  I had reservations about taking a 5 year-old AND a 2 1/2 year-old on this kind of trip.  Plus I HATE to fly.  I don't have wings to flap if the plane goes down, and I get air sick.  Daramamine will keep the nausea at bay, but it doesn't cure the "I don't feel so good" stuff.  However, in the end, we went off-season for shorter lines, and we had the expectation of lots of breaks. 
Second, we LOVE Disney.  Anything after this is totally biased because we love Disney.  Nick and I have been to Disneyland without kids about 4 times, and we went to DisneyWorld for our honeymoon.  I have even been to Tokyo Disneyland, years ago in another lifetime.  It was the first place I saw Captain Eo.  Are the parks over-priced?  Absolutely.  Does the music annoy us? Sometimes.  Buuuttt, you get what you pay for.  I have been to places far less crowded that were filthy.  Disney keeps a relatively clean park, there is staff everywhere to assist you if you ask, and I feel relatively safe.  Plus the rides are fun and they have ice cream everywhere for purchase.  Good times Dawg.
We left Sunday at about 7:00am. which means we were at the airport by 5:00am.  Way to early for me, but it meant that we were standing at the gates of Disneyalnd by 10:00am.  First slap of reality was Asa.  I expected to wait on Noah- he is younger, slower, might need naps, etc.  Asa refused to go on any ride he couldn't actually see the ride.  Example-no arguments getting him on the huge Mark Twain Riverboat.  Peter Pan's Flight-forget it.  It was like that the entire trip.  By Wednesday we told him if he went on 4 new rides, he would get a treat EVERY time.  We had to pay up twice.  Shoot-if that had been me, I would been on enough new rides to make me a sugar zombie, but to each their own.  Second reality slap was the crowds.  Off-season my ass-that park was crawling with people.  Unless we hit it early in the morning or right before we left the park, most rides had at least a half hour wait.  We did a lot of passing off between mommy and daddy and grandma and grandpa, because making my kids wait for EVERY ride seemed like a lot.  In fact, if we had known there was going to be a national cheerleading competition down there at the same time, we would have picked a different time. 
Tuesday we rented a car and headed up to the La Brea Tar Pits, and Hollywood.  Hollywood is worth a trip once in a lifetime.  I had been, Nick hadn't.  But Disney has a soda fountaint up there I had never seen, and we ate at the Hardrock Cafe.  And it was worth it to get the kids out of the rides scenario and show them something without lines.  We saw turtles in the nature walk at La Brea Tar Pits, so we got some education in there too.  My only big beef, and Nick rolled his eyes at me, was at Hardrock, they had music and the title so you knew who the artist was.  When Jerry Lee Lewis was singing "Great Balls of Fire", they said it was Little Richard singing "Good Golly Miss Molly".  I complained-if your business is music, do it right.  We also saw Grauman's Chinese Theater and all the famous, and infamous, footprints. 
Wednesday, my aunt and uncle drove down from their home in Vegas and met us for a day in the park.  Hard to tell who had more fun!!   I think the kids just liked having someone else to fawn over them.  Since they hadn't been to the new park, we spent the day over in the California. 
By Friday, everyone was bushed.  Noah had a rash that made walking painful-I am guessing it was the water but I really don't know.  We were all tired and cranky, and our flight didn't leave till 6:50pm.  By the time we got luggage, got our car, etc., it was 11:30pm before we got to bed. 
I never thought I would be one of those people who took kids to places they wouldn't remember.  Asa might remember parts of this trip, if we are lucky, but Noah probably won't remember a thing.  However, two things make it worthwhile to me.  Well, three things.  First, my friend Katie gave me some of the best piece of parenting advice I have ever received-your child might not remember, but you will.  I have applied that to the first time I took both my kids camping when they were 8 months old, to Christmas morning with Santa.  My memories are just as important as theirs, and I have some priceless ones.  Secondly, even if the kids don't remember Disneyland per se, they know that they just had a fun time with family.  I could wait till my kids are 6, before we do anything fun, and then they would be like "what the hey?".  But now, at their young age, they know that we do fun things sometimes, and when the fun times end, another will be there to replace it in the future.  We just build on those feelings. 
The third, is that I love vacations and I love Disneyland.  I just spent 6 days in warm weather, not having to cook, and having someone else make my bed.  What's not to love?
Favorite ride for me is Splash Mountain.  It was closed down.  I did get on Thunder Mountain, which is my second favorite ride.  Favorite ride we all could go on was Woody's Midway.  You get a "gun" and you shoot at targets to rack up points.  Buzz Lightyear is similiar and the kids really liked that too. 
Worst moments were Noah's rash.  Broke my heart watching that kid cry as he tried to avoid walking.  Fighting with Asa over the rides was a downer, but hey, we took the little kids so we had to expect something.  He also liked to scream in the bathrooms that he had just gone poop-I am almost positive I heard mom's snickering over that one.  Why couldn't he say something quietly before we went in there?
We are officially ready to go again!

What Happens If I Disagree?

The shootings in Arizona have left me, and a lot of other people, speechless.  A gunman, at this point lone, is pissed at the world and opens up at the politicians he thinks is responsible?  How is a nine-year old little girl responsible for the issues of today?  Shooting other people while going after your ex-spouse is rehensible.  Shooting a cop, while high on meth, to avoid jail time, is disgusting.  But at least we can say there was some reason.  But explain to me how a little girl is in anyway responsible for your political issues?  Not to mention all the other innocent people caught up in a gunman's rampage.
ABC broadcasted an interview with Emanuel Cleaver, Missouri-D,and he said that the toxic discussions coming out of DC were being exported to the rest of the nation (I am paraphrasing-not quoting directly).  If truer words were never spoken.  Politics has turned into a simple war of right and wrong.  I am right, therefore you are wrong.  It all boils down to that, and it has turned deadly.  Last November, after the elections, most of the non-elected officials, regardless of party, conceded defeat, wished the best to the elected, and promised to get their group back in office.  Huh?  How about-great win, let's see what we can do for the people.  The last 5 presidential races, the latest being no different, concluded with the losing party promising to get folks the help they need, in four years when they re-take the office.  And even some elected officials have publicly stated that they will do their best to disrupt the system, until they get what they want.  Some politicans have a list of OTHER politicians who are wrong, that way there is no guessing.  How is that helpful?
It doesn't take long to see why we are a nation at war with ourselves.  Compromise has become nothing but a dirty word, and "us VS them" is the stance on every issue-from our favorite footbball team down to how we deal with health care.  Even how to celibrate holidays can turn into World War III.
Aaron, of my college days fame, once said, "agree to disagree".  I know he was not the first to say it, but his version was the first I heard, and it sums up everything to me.  I am proud to know that some of my closets friends dress different than me, picked their spouse in different ways than me, and gasp! voted opposite of me.  And more power to them for it.  I hope they continue to do that, because that individuality is what makes them a great friend. 
Instead of fighting to make sure we are the same politicaly, or even demographicaly , I want to see more fighting for people being the same socially.  I know I am not alone in that I pick my friends by how kind someone is -how they treat their fellow human beings, animals, and family members.  How about arguments for hanging out with people who don't use violence to express themselves, and refuse to pick their nose in public ( I couldn't resist-that habit grosses me out.)  Like different movies, vote for the conservative, give clothes to the needy and food to the poor and I like you anyway.  Go to church, don't go to church, but agree that all children, regardless of color, need hugs.  Can we find common ground?  Take mass transit, drive your gas-guzzling hummer, burn a bra-just respect the fact I like the Grand Canyon as a vacation spot.  There are a hundred different ways we can disagree, as long as we can find common ground in human decency.  Can we fight for that, instead of which ideas deserve the most public ridicule?
The shootings in Arizona were the fault of one man, and one man only.  I don't blame anything else.  But it doesn't hurt to hope for change either. The Civil War offially lasted four years, 1861-1865.  But the issue of slavery tore families apart of for decades, before AND after the war.  If our nation can survive that, we can survive this current war of ugly words and feelings.  It would just be nice if we could do it before more nine-year old children, who can't even vote and are in NO WAY responsible for this political quagmire, are shot down and killed. 

The Best Gift Of All

It's the most wonderful time of the year...for crappy gifts and hurt feelings.  No matter how much we talk about it, or read about it, there always seems to be some glitch in the gift giving process.  The Guilt Trip curtesy of your mother-in-law, the Material Trip coming from your kids, or maybe it is the Useless Gift coming from your spouse.  We still laugh at the year my dad gave my mom a square egg maker-as if the eggs taste different when they change shape.
Thanks to a person in my life who shall remain nameless (even though they claim to never read this, it is a public space), I have been elevated to "EXPERT OF CRAPPY GIFTS".  That is my official title after "Head Maid" my kids bestowed on me.  For many years in a row, I got horrible things-things that made me growl and howl at the injustice of it all.  But when all is said and done, I learned a couple valuable lessons from "Gertrude", that I am now passing onto the rest of the world.

A. Gift Giving isn't about the giver, it is about the receiver.  Sometimes we feel pressured by business, sometimes we feel pressured by social customs, but either way, when I pick out a gift, it isn't about me.  Truly think about the person you are buying for-what do they like?  What would make them smile?  What floats their boat?  I have stood in line for over 30 minutes to buy my mom perfume I think stinks, but mom loves it.  I have searched high and low for Oregon State Univ. items for my black and orange husband, even though I cheer on their rivals, the Univ. of Oregon Ducks.  It is always with the same motto in mind-what will make the other person happy.
B.  Every year, I seem to get a request for "what's on my list", whether it be in jest (George Clooney), or seriousness (World Peace), or affordable (books).  Right after that, I get the complaint from Gertrude,"lists are so impersonal-I want to get something special."  The first time I heard that, I thought it was sweet-like going above and beyond the duty of buying and putting something extra special in the whole process.  Now when I hear that from her, or anyone else, I cringe.  Very few of us claim to have psychic powers, and even those that make the claim admit the power can be sketchy at times (no lottery winners amongst that bunch).  Unless you are absolutely sure, stick to the list.  Now when someone says "I am not using their list", what I hear is, "I could give a rats ass what they want."  When you purchase something using a list, you are getting someone what they want.  What can make a person happier than that-getting what they want?  It is a shoo-in for happiness, and you blow it by assuming your ego can out think the gift recevieree (okay, maybe that is not a word but it sounds good.)  There is no shame in sticking to a list-it means you care to get someone something they want and if you think I am repeating myself , you would be right.  Stick to the list!  Make someone happy!
C. Now, what if you don't have a list?  It happens, and it is no reason to panic.  Some families like to go off the fly, and sometimes it is a work party.  However, put on your thinking cap, and use some self-honesty.  My first piece of advice still holds true-the gift is NOT about you.  What makes most people happy?  Food?  Luxuries?  World Peace?  (My second mentioning of that-let me know if you can make it happen.)  Think about what you ALWAYS get at little parties (ie. bridal and baby showers) and do the exact OPPOSITE!  No more candles, no more bookmarks, no more teachers dirty looks...or something to that effect.  My favorite "go to" gifts are gift certificates/cards.  They get a lot of flak because people forget to use them...not my problem.  Somehow I have NEVER had a problem collecting free stuff.  Starbucks is popular, and I wouldn't sneer at their gift card.  Baskin and Robbins is great for gift certificates because they come in $2 increments-great for a tight budget and their ice cream is yum yum yummy.  Think locally too though-the mom/pop theater is another one of my favorites.  Locally is always nice, and the buzzword right now, but don't worry if it ins't practical.  When I sent a wedding gift out of town, it was much easier to get a gift card to a chain I knew we both could get to, rather than research what was available in an area had I never been too. 
D. People seem to think that gifts should scream individuality, life long purpose, and the best thing since sliced bread.  But the truth is, we are really just bringing brief moments of thoughtfulness.  I said it once before, however it bears repeating-truly stop and think about the person you are buying for.  The year my aunt and uncle moved to a new town, we got the them gift certificates to three different restraunts.  They loved trying new places.  My sister and I both love receiving our zoo passes, a place we couldn't afford to continually take our children otherwise.  One of the best gifts I ever got was a used book, with writing all over the front page.  A very hard to find book, Katie knew the series was one of my favorites, and picked out the book as a bridal gift for me.  (Okay, that wasn't on any list, but I didn't know it existed-score A LOT for Katie's psychic powers.)  Also, in this tight economy, think about the little things people need, or the little luxuries they might enjoy but are scrimping on.  Pedicures and Starbucks are just plain fun, but for someone on a very tight budget, they might really appreciate stamps or public bus tickets.  Those things aren't fancy, but when money is so tight you are debating between those bus tickets or some groceries, the strain of not having to worry about those items for a few months is a gift in and of itself.
(If you noticed a pattern to the above gifts, gold star by your name.  Not one thing I mentioned is "stuff".  Most of us have the things we need-another decorative snowman or Menorah is NOT what I need, and lots of you are in the boat.)
E. A quick word on homemade gifts.  Every year, Martha Stewart and magazines trot out homemade gifts as the cure to all Christmas woes.  They aren't.  For one, we all have a Gertrude on our list who is not happy unless you hand them the moon.  And while I am not upset when I don't meet Gertrude's "demands", I can understand her aversion to homemade gifts.  I once made my aunt a bracelet from yarn, in part to show my kids how great homemade gifts can be.  Yep-the braclelet looked like what it was-yarn in knots.  Plus, unless you are Bob Villa or Martha Stewart, what you make will not look nearly as good as you think it should.  If you are crafty and can make things look special go for it, but for the rest of us with 9 thumbs and a pinkie, the amount of time, money, and effort it takes to make something homemade, it would be just as much fun to invite someone over for a "drinking" buffet and call it good. A nice time out is never out of style and spending time with people is a great "gift" idea. (I did this-rather than make myself cook, I invited people to just relax and hang out.  I offered hot cider, a bottle of wine, some water, beer, wine coolers, punch, milk, and some type of juice.  WAAYYY easier, gave me time to chat, and clean up was a BREEZE!)

So, after an article like this, people always want to know what was the best gift, and worst gift I ever received?  Well, luckily, the best gift is to hard to nail down to just one.  I got ski's when I was 13-I was so excited to get them I fractured my ankle and had to wait almost 2 months before I got to use them.  And my first Christmas with my new boyfriend (now graduated to husband), instead of getting me jewelry like his friends told him too, he got me this really nice book I had wanted.  He and the book were a keeper-I hate jewelry.  I am sure the first gift my kids truly pick out will put a tear in my eye.
The worst gift I got is much easier.  I won't describe it here-it is too distinctive and the person who gave it to me would recognize it.  And the item itself isn't bad-it is on the expensive side and many people would enjoy it.  When it was handed to me, all wrapped up on Christmas Eve, the Giver said to me "I know Dena won't like it." WOW. Nothing makes you feel respected and well-liked as knowing the person is purposely handing you a gift they know you won't like.  Did you shop long and hard for that, or did it come to you out of the blue?  That is when I learned that if you really want to make someone's holiday special, shop and give with the receiver in mind.

Regardless of what you are celebrating this time of year, may your days be merry, your evenings cheery, and family and friends by your side.  Best Wishes to all.

The Great Voting Debacle

Another year, another vote, another year of relief that the season is over.  I know I speak for many people when I say that between the advertisements and smear campaigns, November is almost a relief despite the advent of crappy weather in our part of the world-Oregon.
The most disappointing thing, obviously, is the lack of voters.  However, I can't say I blame people.  It took everything in me to vote, because I really didn't want too.  And I am not alone-millions of people out there feel like I do-what the hell am I voting for?  Jane Doe accuses her opponent of not supporting the elderly.  So Joe Nobody fires back with accusations that Jane is going to cut school funding.  Jane lobs a "he is against civil rights".  Joe fires back with "she is for the rich".  After weeks of slinging, Election Day arrives and I have no idea what these 2 candidates stand for.  How will they pay for social services?  What is their stance on raising the minumum wage?  Toll bridges?  Farm subsidies?  Water rights?  Distribution of lottery money?  Establishing a rainy day fund?  The Rose Festival?  Anything besides attacking their opponent? 
It used to be that we taught Ethics in school, but that is out due to lack of funding.  I am not talking about right and wrong-that is still taught despite what some people think.  I am talking about Ethics in relation to the Government-another class we don't hear much about either.  The big push is for Math and Science-as if nothing else is an indicator of how smart or well-adjusted we are.  Math and Science obviously have their place in  society-says the girl communicating via one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs ever-but there are other subjects out there equally important.  Knowing how your country is run, and where your taxes go is pretty far up my list of what should be taught in schools too.  Knowing how voting effects your life, and what your representatives actually do at the Local, State, and National level also seems important, but apparently not in relation to Math or Science.
I also think special interest groups are bogging us down.  Granted there are some causes I find more important than others-while I am paying close attention to school funding, I have to admit that my knowledge of crops imported overseas is pretty spotty.  However, some people are making one cause the whole point of their existence over the exclusion of everything else.  The election a few years back asked us to vote on whether we should cut spending to parks and wildlife, and give the money to schools.  I admit schools need funding, but at the risk of gutting our state treasures?  Of sacrificing clean water and a diverse bio-system?  Reading the Jewish Review, Jeff Merkley, current US Senator for Oregon, stated that often, when voting on an issue, one Senator will  delay the vote on passage of a bill and often times the bill is re-written, or never brought up again (I am NOT quoting Jeff Merkley directly).  What is the point of voting if you know your representatives can't get shit done?  That one special interest will make sure that nothing opposes THEIR interest?
My minor in college was Political Science.  While I am no expert, I took classes on International Relations, The UN, and Local Government.  The NUMBER ONE reason I vote isn't because I think I am being heard, or that I think my interests are being fairly represented.  While one vote can count (we covered that in class), I am pessimistic enough to think it isn't usually my vote.  I vote simply for those who can't.  Somewhere, right now, someone is willing to die so their country can experience a taste of democracy.  Right now, someone is probably dying just to have a voice in local politics.  Over 200 hundred years ago, a group of men, and women, gave up almost everything so their children wouldn't be British subjects, but have control from this side "of the pond".  Some of them sacrificied personal fortunes, some of them their lives.  To look all these people in the face-ancient or more recent-and say "sorry, I didn't vote because...who cares?" seems to be rude, and shitty.  I can't do it.  I just can't do it.  To all these people who are currently living under totalitarian regimes, dictators, and despots, I owe it to them to continue to vote so they have some small shred of hope that one day they can vote to. 
If you didn't vote this time, do it next time in honor of someone who wants to, but can't.

Financial Aid, and Aid, and Aid......

My sister and I are only one year a part.  I won't bore you with the usual sibling arguing and what-not, but the upshot is, my mom and dad had 2 kids in college at the same time.  (Okay, at the time I didn't think I was a kid, but add a few decades and the perspective changes.)  We both attended the local, and good, community college, and then with the help of financial aid we both transfered to bigger schools and got degrees.  We both had a small savings but it was meager-I think I could have purchased two books with it.  The reality is, we were in no way prepared for the expense of college.  Thank goodness for financial aid-the job I have today was dependent upon my degree.  And I LOVE my job.
Now that I work at a college, I am more prepared for what college can cost-and I assume the price will continue to rise.  So for my sons I have a savings account.  Right now, they cannot afford college.  However, right now it is not an issue.  We have a few years to save.
Apparently this is the wrong thing to do.  Every article I have read on saving for education says DON'T.  Why you ask? Because if my kids have a savings account, they may not get financial aid. 
When did financial aid go from "helping those who need it", to "a way to avoid paying for college if you don't have too?"  Obviously I believe in financial aid.  I also believe that as college costs continue to rise at astronomical rates, more and more people will need it.  But whatever happened to "paying for college yourself"?  And what happens when A) you don't get that sports star scholarship?  B) your great grades are nothing special?  C) they simply run out of money and no matter how much you need it, it won't get it?  Not everyone who applies, gets financial help and if you have spent the last 18 years avoiding a savings account because of the assumption you will get some kind of financial aid, it's going to be rough.
Maybe I am leaping here, but it seems a repeat of the message "don't do for yourself what you think the government can do for you."  No fears-I am not turning into a conservative.  But I see a lot of good ideas morphed into something the were never intended to be because suddenly everyone wanted a piece, not just those the help was intended for. 

Examples? 
*The wealthy collecting Social Security because they think they are owed it. 
*The person Nick knew who got financial aid, then worked under the table for his dad and used the money for a new car instead of his education (why would he-financial aid paid for schooling.)
*A single parent receiving gov't aid even though child support is current and sufficient (dead-beat parents are a different issue).
*Collecting death benefits, even if a life insurance policy ensured it's own set of benefits.

There are legitimate reasons for using social programs, and that is what they are there for:  to help people.  But I get frustrated that everyone seems to think they are owed this help, whether they need it or not.  Hopefully, we won't need financial aid.  But I have no idea what the future holds and if our position changes, and we face financial hardship, I will apply like all other parents.  Help is there because you NEED it, not because you WANT it.

What Did You Do When You First Got Here?

It seems like I keep going back to History when I blog.  Not sure if that is because I like it, know about it, or a combo of all of thee above, but it seems natural to me to explore what we used to do, and compare it to what we do now.
I got an interesting e-mail stating that if the current immigrants would quit causing trouble, like being drug dealers and driving drunk, and be more like the immigrants of old who came as hard-working citizens and caused no trouble, then no one would have a problem with them.
Whoa boys-hold the can of whoop ass.
Maybe that is why I keep involving the badge of History-people throw it around like it is a shield of purity.
First off, immigrants have never been welcome in this country.  From the time the first white man set foot upon the shore and declared HIMSELF (yep, a man walked off the boat first) waayyyy better than the locals, there has been friction.  Can't say I blame the Native Americans.  You live here for thousands of years, a newcomer shows up, and you are the bad guy?  Boy does that sound like fun.
Once the Natives were tossed off the land, and the white guys proliferated like rabbits, future boat loads of people were greeted with suspicion at best, and derision and chains at it's worst.  The Irish came in the early part of the 1800's, only to be greeted with signs in the store windows denying Catholics entrance.  Eastern Europeans came in the late 1800's, only to be greeted with claims that they were dirty and basically shuttled to their own neighborhoods so the genteel public didn't really have to mix with them.  And I am just talking about Ellis Island here.  On the West Coast, despite a very low crime rate, any and all Asians were assumed opiate addicts and they never lost their "foreigner" status no matter how long they stayed in this country (internment camps during WWII prove this).  And the slaves stolen from Africa never stood a chance-they weren't even labeled human, but poor farmers in the South hated them just the same for being cheap labor.
Once here, immigrants faced the same challenges then, as they do today.   Lack of language kept them out of jobs, discrimination kept them from education.  The Irish took over local politics to get jobs for other Irish.  Good beginnings went wrong and we ended up with Tamany Hall and corruption in numerous states back east.  The Italians organized and established the Mafia in their new country-USA.  AL Capone is the most famous but there were others, either from Italy, or born to Italian immigrants, who created murder and chaos wherever they went.  The Jews basically started Hollywood, which depending on where you stand, can be the root of all evil, or a dream factory.  Okay, Hollywood and the Mafia aren't exactly the same on the Evil Scale, but back in the day, that kind of entertainment was considered more sinful then it is today.  Despite his star status, Clark Cable's dad never accepted his son's profession and it took Walt Disney years to convince his dad that Animation was a legitimate career choice.
So to ask a new immigrant to be like an old immigrant of yore, well that could be asking for trouble. 
So what should we ask the new immigrants?  How about coming here legally?  Thousands of Catholics, Jews, Asians-all groups traditionally discriminated against in this country-sold EVERYTHING they had to get passage to a country that they HOPED would be better.  Even as late as the 1950's, refuges out of Europe (my father-in-law's family) waited years in European refuge camps, and months on Ellis Island, before they were permitted to enter the USA.  Hell, depending on what decade you showed up, you couldn't stay if you couldn't prove you already had either A) proof of employment or B) a relative waiting to take care of you so you didn't need public assistance.  How are we racist today, to demand the same things?
The racist comments really bother me.  I don't think I am a racist for demanding immigrants be here legally.  I never even said what nationality I was talking about, since I mean all of them.  But it sure is a lot easier to cross an invisible line than it is to come thousands of miles by boat, or even airplane.  And I don't expect every single one of them to be paragons of virtue-the weren't in the past and they won't be in the future.  But if we are going to use History as our example, and everyone seems to be, how about demanding everyone be here legally?  Can I repeat that?  Everyone be here legally-that s it.  So simple.

History, History, History

I seem to be in a pattern.  Don't blog for months at a time, and when I do, be sure to bring up History.  Why break the pattern now? 
The funny thing about History though, is that as much as everyone readily admits to not liking it, it gets used a lot.  Especially Politics/Current Events-people love to bring up The Good Old Days. 
In the Good Old Days, no bad happened.  It was a bucolic time with less violence, less selfishness, more time to stop and smell the flowers.  An era when people used their time wisely and really connected to nature and her environs.
Can we say bullshit?  Horse-puckey?  Rose-colored glasses?
Okay, some things were better.  People did connect to nature more.  When you are shoveling horse poop on your farm, or smelling it through your tenement apartment, you were forcefully reminded of nature.  People did connect with one another more, as the only "media" that existed was the newspaper (depending on how far back you go).  The whole community could usually tell you what your children were up to, and you usually knew the whole community so that was helpful.
But it was not all easy.  Statistically, most children died before their 5th birthday.  If you spoke a funny language, or even had a weird accent (think of all the regional areas of the United States) you could be denied service ANYWHERE.  Violence was rampant but not talked about in the form of spousal abuse and child abuse.  Was someone in your family handicapped/mentally challenged?  That person faced a life if derision and outcast.  And don't get me started on drugs-most order-by-mail drugs were rife with drugs that were legal, but knowingly harmful.
Life in the city sucked for a lot of years.  Horses, that look so quaint in pictures, pooped-everywhere.  The city smelled, and sanitation wasn't so hot, so people smelled too.  Disease was rampant, hence the reason so many young children died of diseases most of us can't pronounce anymore.  The work week was 6 days a week, if you were lucky, and an employer could let you go for any reason-from being to ugly to pissing off your boss.  Plus, there was discrimination, sexism, etc.  You know the drill.
The countryside had it's own perils.  Farm accidents claimed a lot of lives-children and adults a like.  Nutritional diseases were rampant-when there was no crops, there was no food.  If something went wrong, and it often did, your nearest neighbor was available by foot only after walking many miles. 
Also regardless of where you lived, life was a struggle.  Food preparation began with growing it, or getting it fresh somewhere.  Then you washed it, preserved it, and hoped to God it was there in the lean months.  Light in your house was candles that you made.  Clothes were ones that you made.  There was NO leisure time. 
There are things about The Good Old Days that sound nice.  I am still learning about growing food, and learning to do without so much materialism.  I also work to make sure my kids can actaully play a game that doesn't involve batteries and identify some of the animals in our area.  But I think most parents will agree that we don't want to lose our kids at age 5 and there is no way I want to go back to a time where all cooking involved a fire. 
Instead of hearing about The Good Old Days, let's hear a politician talk about how they can Make The Current Days Better.

The Founding Principles

Usually this time of year (Christmas being the other time), the fight over which religion is right, is more frantic than ever.  I guess birth and death does bring out the worst or best in people.  It is like multiple siblings arguing whom mom/dad loves best. Guess what? They love us all. 
I for one want to state yet again, I think Religion is a gift from God.  He looks at us, His children, and helps us decide how best to know him.  And just like we are all individuals, so is the way we pray to Him, and bring Him into our lives.  God knows what His individual children need-who am I to question that?
But the healthcare battle has brought this yearly shout-match to new heights.  All over the news, I hear people shouting about the "Christian Principles" this country was founded on, and how we need to get back to that.  Granted, I won't proclaim to be a world scholar on Christian Principles, but I am pretty confident that Jesus was kind of a peaceful fellow.  And there is nothing in the Bible that says he stuck out his tongue and flipped people off as he walked across the water.  So a little less shouting and screaming would be nice.
My second point would be that this nation was NOT founded on Christian Principles.  I feel like I am beating a dead horse here, but the Constituion that these loud mouths keep waving around has a brand new idea in there-Freedom of Religion.  Okay, The Constitution has been around for a few centuries now, but in the larger scope of history, that isn't long.  And although the Founding Fathers were pretty much hoping that everyone was Christian when they put in the Freedom of Religion part, the fact of the matter is, they didn't say Freedom of Any Christian Denomination You Choose.  They said Freedom of Religion.  That wording matters, way back then in thar good al' dayzzz, just as much as it does now.  Freedom of Religion is exactly what it means-that this nation was founded on the belief that people have the right to worship as they choose.  That no matter what the current leader may be, you as a private citizen does not have to follow that and at no penalty to you or your family.  The Mother Country didn't have that provision.  When Mary was queen, Catholics every rejoiced.  As soon as her sister Elizabeth I took over, Catholics ran for their lives.  Our Constituion was designed to protect us from the religious winds that can blow which ever way.
So should we start agitating to get back to the principles this country was founded on.  Yes, we should.  But the principles this country were founded on include Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Opinion, and Freedom to Assemble-Peacefully (I paraphrase here).  Let's get back to that, and quit giving Christianity a bad name. 

The American Dream

A lot of talk recently about the death of the Amreican Dream.  It actually makes me sick to here people talk about that because it shows two things:  one, their ignorance, and two, their selfishness.  Anybody remember what the American Dream was?  And don't ask the idiots running the new Tea Party.  Freedom of Religion.  Freedom to own property.  No taxation without representation (ie. voting).  Does this sound familiar.  It should-between the US Constitution and The Bill of Rights, the Founding Fathers and Mothers pretty much hit the highlights. Oh, it wasn't perfect.  Minorities had to fight another 200 years to even BEGIN to get rights, but just the fact that someone tried to do something in 1776, to give the general populace rights at all, is amazing in itself. 
Europe surely wasn't offering much.  It was pretty much guarantee'd, other than a lucky few, you would die where you were born in pretty much the same economic demographic.  Property was inherited, and you worshipped like your neighbors, or it got ugly.  The Colonies across "the pond" may not have been treating their slaves right, or the native inhabitants, but they were offering more freedom then Europe. 
Nowhere did the framers of our government expect everyone to agree, promise everyone a house, and the right to a perfect life.  They didn't offer equal access to education (although Jefferson advocated for it), jobs, or a chicken in every pot (that was later-Hoover I think?).  In a nutshell, they wanted a government where people had a say in how things were run, with a few "inalienable" rights, just to make it solid and better than what they had.
So how is the American Dream dead?  Because the housing market crashed?  Because unemployment is so high?  Because we can no longer pick our representatives in government?  Because we have to pay almost $10 to see a movie if we go during prime-time?  Because we can longer worship as we see fit?  We have problems here in this country-I am not denying that.  And not everything is going the way I want it too.  But as for the American Dream being dead-no way.  It is alive and well, and continuing to shape this country, just like it always has.  People just need to remember what the American Dream really was, and not what they think it became.

As We Age

Wow-second blog in a week!!  I am on a roll.
It isn't even my birthday, but you know what, it sucks to get old.  My back often feels like someone threw a steel rod in there via my butt, and let's say my boobs have repositioned themselves, by themselves.  When I get a headache, I have no idea if my bad neck caused it or it is actually a true headache.  Oh, and I have gained the notrious "Freshman Five" (5 lbs. at the start of the school year), repeatedly!!!
But the one nice thing abut aging is what you learn.  Not to sound like some Sage on the Mountain, but I know things now I never thought I would.  I understand some of the decisions my parents made, or at least know enough to be more critical of them (sorry mom-still don't understand why we didn't ride first class to Vegas in '95).
I know it isn't earth-shattering, or very exciting, but it is a good feeling.  It allows you to give up the foolish dreams of the past, and make better dreams for the future.  And it keeps me curious.  Who knows what I will learn tommorrow.  Maybe even a way to hoist up the old chest!

The Follow-Up

Won't even excuse myself for not writing recently-this sinus infection has gone on TO LONG!!!
But there was a discussion on Facebook about the Texas State Board of Education approving more conservative textbooks, and honestly Facebook is to small so I thought I would do a blog.
Be forewarned-this is a public space but not quite like Facebook, so I will be expressing my opinion about more forcefully.
Let me throw it out there-PUBLIC SCHOOLS are no place for religious dogma.  Learning about other religions, yes.  A learning institution of any kind is about...learning.  Go figure.  But it is not the place to teach the morality of The Ten Commandments, what you think God did on the Sabbath, or if he created the world in 1 day or 10.  Tell the kids what the Christians think, be sure to let them know what the Jews and Muslims think as well.  Throw in the Hindu's and you have a lesson plan for a whole year.  But in a PUBLIC SCHOOL, it is not your place to determine who is right.
PRIVATE SCHOOL is different.  Hence the title, PRIVATE.  It is the perfect place for religious dogma-or any other dogma for that matter. 
So Texas decide's that the liberal bias has gone on long enough, they want a more conservative opinion expressed, and they have bought re-written textbooks to push this agenda.
So on Facebook, I agree'd that while we have not always written our textbooks without bias, or political gain (think Cold War) at least recently we have tried to correct that and be more fair.  Texas is taking a huge step BACKWARD.
Then Aaron expressed an opinon that we need a national standard.  I had to think about that.  We can't agree on a national health care plan-what kind of agenda can each state push in a textbook?  And do we really want to have to form a consensus with the people in the South who apparently want to make sure their kids are learning according to 1950?  Hey, lets bring back smoking inside and really give kids the advantage.
But after carfeul thought, I have to agree with Aaron-it is time for a national standard.  The biggest point in favor is that bascially, the textbook comapnies make one copy of a textbook-and the largest buyer pretty much dictates what goes in there.  Surprise-Texas is one of the largest purchasers of textbooks.  Sooooo, with no input from anyone else, we all get the textbook the moral police in Texas want.  Market Economy-lovely.
It is true that most people in this country follow some type of Christian background.  And it is easy to say, "what is the big deal?"  But, "most people" IS NOT everyone, and it isn't what this country was founded on.  We have spent over 200 years trying to create a place where everyone is actually welcome, and to non-christian such as myself, it feels like Texas is taking a step back to the days of only the WASP's being actually invited despite what the fine print says.
So, national standard for textbooks and education it is.  I am in favor of it.

I No Longer Agree

When the Oregon Dept. of Human Services, hereafter noted as DHS, first came under fire a few years ago, I defended them. They are under-staffed and under-funded.
Then a little child was severely beaten and people wanted to know how that fell through the cracks. I defended DHS; little kids hurt themselves all the time. My own son has two bruises on his face from falling into things-thank goodness everyone who knows me realizes that these are true accidents. It would be easy enough to explain away bruises on young children.
When another young child died during a parental visit, I still did not lose faith. After all, every organization has their bad employees and who knew the parent was so over the edge.
In the past month, a 15-year old girl was killed via a brutal beating from her own parents. Numerous people reported to DHS that this girl had been beaten for months, possibly years prior to her death; the bruises were visible to her friends, other family, and her teachers. You cannot excuse the bruises of a teenager as the beginning steps of a new walker like my young son.
I no longer offer any support, verbal or otherwise, to DHS. Yes, they are under-staffed and under-funded, but enough is enough. Clean house, utilize your dollars, and start saving children. Catching the radar of DHS should not be a death sentence.

Out of Context

In my last blog, I talked about the crazies, and my sister made a good follow up remark that the Jews are just defending themselves. She makes a good point-I am not entirely wrong, but the Arabs do seem to be led by a group that refuses to compromise.
However, that does not exempt the Jews from having their own crazies. The Jewish Review, which I would NOT consider mainstream news media, has been reporting about a group of hard-line Jews in Israel, who are being very demanding about how that country is run. They were upset when more liberal Jews opted to sell bread during Passover, and they have objected to women praying at the Western Wall. In fact, they have called for laws to make sure that the country is run the way THEY want things. Um, I don't see how that is any different than the Taliban?

The Crazies-Ruining It For Everyone

With the holiday season well and over, I have one question for everyone:
Why is it, this time more than any other, everyone has to fight over religious symbols?
The arguments over Christmas Trees continued this year un-abated. I read arguments pro- and con- for public menorahs. The gluttony of the season is always compared to Jesus-I hear the cry "Rmemeber the reason for the season" almost as much as I hear "grab the credit cards".
I don't get it.
It helps that my thoughts on religion are all encompassing. In my humble opinion, one of the greatest gifts God has given us is the numerous ways to pray to Him. We are his children; if God says you are better off a Christian, lo and behold, you are a Christian. If God thinks you make a better Buddhist, lo and behold, you are a Buddhist. All of the world's major religions have the same tenets of one, all powerful God (although some of the religions have lots of helpers), the idea of helping those less fortunate then yourself, and peace on earth. As a bonus, all major religions have their crazies too. Christians get the KKK, Muslims get terrorists, Jews are bombing Arabs over land. But the main point here is that God leads us where we need to go.
A winter holiday has been going on for thousands of years. So the Church borrowed it, re-packaged it, and gave it another name. What this says to me, that on or around Decmeber 25, spend the day the way you want. Go to church and pray for mankind. Give gifts like it is 1999. Go for a hike for thoughtful reflection. Eat a big meal. Or take your family to a truck stop.
Does it matter that we all do it differently? Does it matter that some of us want to remember Jesus, who when all is said and done was a kind and thoughtful man. Does matter that some of us eat till we are sick? Does it matter that some of us light candles instead of plugging in a string of bulbs?
At the time of winter solstice, in the Western Hemispere, I say we do whatever we need to (as long as we respect ourselves and others) to tackle the shortest day of the year and look forward to lengthing days and stop fighting over how we pray. It is driving me crazy! But not terrorist crazy.

Christmas..Or SOmething Like It

I have to admit, I have lots of thoughts about Christmas. I don't know if it is because marketing has been going on since Halloween, because I am Jewish and straddling a couple holidays, or maybe I am just desperate for adult conversation! Whatever the reason, my mind is wandering this season. (How about that for rhyming!)
I'd like to start by saying, I don't get stressed this time of year. I would encourage others to do the same. Once upon a time, I thought Chsristmas had to be similiar to a Hallmark commercial. I was never so naive that I thought it would be EXACTLY the same, but isn't Norman Rockwell suppose to be what our goal is? Last year I blogged about my sister's car accident a few days before Christmas, and I hate to get all preachy, but seriously, narrowly escaping a worse scenario puts it in perspective. I get crap for not cooking the big meals, I get eye-rolls for some of my gift suggestions, and I can't get a single person to vote for pizza. But I have some of the most fun this time of year. The lights, the decorations, the songs, wrapping, lame movies, good movies, the mall...bring it on. Because the truth is, like everything else we do in life, the holidays, any holiday, is what you make of it.
Which leads me to my next topic... Santa.
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with another mom about Santa. She wanted to do that with her kids, but the let down when she found he wasn't real was so acute, she didn't want her children to go through the same thing. I remember the magic of Santa, I remember finding out he wasn't what I thought, and remember there were a few years there where I struggled with what the point was. No Santa? Then why bother with the decorations, tree, and all else...I could just toss a gift to everyone and call it good. Thank God the teen years are not forever. Seriously, thank-you God!! Other than the ability to eat what I wanted, I can't say I would re-live any of it.
What I learned is that Santa the Man may not be around anymore, but his spirit continues and after a decade or so of seeing how it works, it was now my turn to be Santa. And the great thing is, anyone who wants to, can be like Santa. Everytime we buy a gift for a needy child, I feel like Santa. Everytime I find a gift someone isn't expecting, I feel like Santa. Surprising people with stocking stuffers...yep, I feel like Santa.
Bill Murray had it right in the movie "Scrooged"-this is the time of year when we do a little more, care a little more, and take time out to enjoy things a little more.
My advice to people, as if anyone really needs it, is to relax, enjoy it, and believe in Santa. I do.