My son turned 2 last Wednesday. Gulp-I no longer have a baby. I could go on and on about the changes, the memories of the day he was born, etc. etc. But it is enough here to say that I love him and he continues to amaze me. (Who in the world taught him what a cookie is?!?!?!)
Let me start by saying I have nothing against birthday parties. And I have nothing against birthday parties for small children. I have even attended a few in my day and Asa had so much fun he fell asleep in the driveway before I could start the car. But for myself, I have not had any desire to throw Asa a party. Last year we had both sets of grandparents over and because a big game was on, Nick's cousin Tommy came over with his girlfriend. (Okay, Tommy's girlfriend, Tina, is one of my closet friends so she just assumed I had invited them-let's not tell her any differently). This year just the grandparents came over for dinner the Sunday before Asa's true birthday. One day, possibly next year, Asa will look at me and want something more but for now, the kid who likes rocks and straws was perfectly content.
However, even in my hands off approach to Asa's birthday, I did want to make a good dinner the day he actually turned 2. Something semi-homecooked with things that he likes. So I put on my invisible Betty Crocker outfit and decided on Matzo Ball Soup. You can just make the matzo balls and throw them into a cooked can of chicken noodle soup. Being the true warrior I am, I cut up fresh carrots, celery, and organic chicken breast, pre-cooked them, added them to chicken noddle soup, and then added some chicken broth. Being the first time I cooked this, I tasted it as I went and even I was impressed. The chicken and vegies had a nutritional touch I felt was important, but the canned portion added the noodles that Nick liked.
We were in the homestretch-I added the matzo balls to boiling soup and in 20 minutes dinner would be served.
Okay-I should have SIMMERED the soup because 10 minutes later I had burnt soup and half cooked matzo balls that smelled of burnt soup. The good news is I saved the pan. Our happy birthday dinner now consisted of frozen corndogs follwed by frozen tater tots. Feeding my son stuff that hadn't seen the light of day in maybe a year was not how I envisioned his second birthday. Have I mentioned before that I am grateful Asa's memory is limited?
Friday, November 09, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
The No No Friends
I have to start by making two comments. One, all my friends matter to me-A LOT! I could go on and on about how much they mean to me but it would be boring and only make me cry. So if I talk to you at all, it means I think highly of you.
Second, I want the world to go my way. I won't even sugar coat it-I am that selfish. Of course, it doesn't always go my way, but just so you know, I honestly wish that it would every single day.
I talked to my friend Jennifer last Saturday. She lives in Texas so I don't see her that often, and neither of us are phone people so I don't talk to her that often either. But I miss her, and I love her to death, and I am really crossing my fingers that she gets a job in Salem, which is a hell of a lot closer to me than anywhere in Texas.
But the truth of the matter is that everytime I spend time with Jennifer, I feel like I am bucking the system. See, Jennifer isn't suppose to be my friend, or it might be that I am not suppose to be friends with her. Either way, I often feel pressure from society because Jennifer is a lesbian and I am not.
I have no problem with Jennifer being a lesbian. It is like being 5 ft. tall or 6 ft. tall-what is, is. And Jennifer and I have talked about this-I forget she is a lesbian all the time. That might offend people but I can't help it. Jennifer talks to me about her girlfriends but since that is how I have always known her, I don't find it odd. (Jennifer has admitted to me that she forgets she is a lesbian as well-liking women isn't all that strange to her either after all these years.) But that is where society wants to trip us up. Childhood friends that "turn" lesbian are okay to keep as friends because when you met them, everyone was just a kid and didn't know "better". Co-workers and family members fall into the same category-you can't really help being around them so they qualify as okay too. But to meet someone who is openly homosexual, not be homosexual yourself, and then go on to call them one of your closets friends is like asking for trouble. The number of people who assume I am gay, and denying myself, are numerous. And that whole assumption comes from the idea that there is no way a straight person is ever so comfortable with homosexuality that they would culitvate a friendship beyond it. Hmm-I am so positive Jennifer is a good person, I would leave my son to her if anything happened to my husband and I.
So where do I get angry? I get angry that society can't accept a friendship, for a friendship. I feel this pressure with a lot of my friends actually. For whatever reason, the phrase "birds of a feather, flock together" seems to be the mantra of people today. So my friends that are good Christians, male, and homosexual almost have to be the same system bucker I am. Because I am okay with friends different than me. Or maybe I should say that ALL my friends have the same basic qualities of being some of the nicest, smartest, most caring people I have ever met and the rest of society is using the wrong criteria to make a friendship work.
Happy Birthday Jennifer-you are just as a crazy now as when I met you!!!
Second, I want the world to go my way. I won't even sugar coat it-I am that selfish. Of course, it doesn't always go my way, but just so you know, I honestly wish that it would every single day.
I talked to my friend Jennifer last Saturday. She lives in Texas so I don't see her that often, and neither of us are phone people so I don't talk to her that often either. But I miss her, and I love her to death, and I am really crossing my fingers that she gets a job in Salem, which is a hell of a lot closer to me than anywhere in Texas.
But the truth of the matter is that everytime I spend time with Jennifer, I feel like I am bucking the system. See, Jennifer isn't suppose to be my friend, or it might be that I am not suppose to be friends with her. Either way, I often feel pressure from society because Jennifer is a lesbian and I am not.
I have no problem with Jennifer being a lesbian. It is like being 5 ft. tall or 6 ft. tall-what is, is. And Jennifer and I have talked about this-I forget she is a lesbian all the time. That might offend people but I can't help it. Jennifer talks to me about her girlfriends but since that is how I have always known her, I don't find it odd. (Jennifer has admitted to me that she forgets she is a lesbian as well-liking women isn't all that strange to her either after all these years.) But that is where society wants to trip us up. Childhood friends that "turn" lesbian are okay to keep as friends because when you met them, everyone was just a kid and didn't know "better". Co-workers and family members fall into the same category-you can't really help being around them so they qualify as okay too. But to meet someone who is openly homosexual, not be homosexual yourself, and then go on to call them one of your closets friends is like asking for trouble. The number of people who assume I am gay, and denying myself, are numerous. And that whole assumption comes from the idea that there is no way a straight person is ever so comfortable with homosexuality that they would culitvate a friendship beyond it. Hmm-I am so positive Jennifer is a good person, I would leave my son to her if anything happened to my husband and I.
So where do I get angry? I get angry that society can't accept a friendship, for a friendship. I feel this pressure with a lot of my friends actually. For whatever reason, the phrase "birds of a feather, flock together" seems to be the mantra of people today. So my friends that are good Christians, male, and homosexual almost have to be the same system bucker I am. Because I am okay with friends different than me. Or maybe I should say that ALL my friends have the same basic qualities of being some of the nicest, smartest, most caring people I have ever met and the rest of society is using the wrong criteria to make a friendship work.
Happy Birthday Jennifer-you are just as a crazy now as when I met you!!!
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thanks For November
Thanksgiving may not be the juggernaut Christmas is, but it still inspires us for the month of November. With Halloween over, except for the sugar highs, and the air taking on a frosty note, November gets me thinking about what I am thankful for.
I hear a lot about families and friends, in addition to numerous inventions, and yes, I am thankful for all that. But what I am really most thankful for is memory, or lack thereof.
Memories can be happy or sad, but each one let's us build on a previous experience. When I was 17, I added to much water to bisquick and got soup. Yum. Never did that again. And I always remember how much fun I have with certain people, and how I want to ram my foot up the ass of the ones who annoy me.
But I am most thankful for my young son's lack of memory, and I truly believe that is a gift from God. Parenting, especially the first time around, is fraught with error. The time I left Asa in the garage in his car seat, with no lights on, makes me furious with myself. So is the time he rolled down our short flight of stairs, rolled off the bed, or the time he started crying when I was in the shower. Ouch-he would have a lot to tell his therapist if he could remember all that. But God cuts us some slack-we get a few years to at least work out the major kinks. Sure, Asa has learned we love him because we hug him again and again (and maybe throw in a few kisses as well.) He can slowly build on that. But the one time in the dark garage is gone. Whew.
If you think about it, the fact that none of us (not just my son) are born with memory is a gift for all of us. Childhood, in relation to the rest of our lives, is the shortest time period of all. Assuming we live to be 80, and assuming we are in childhood till about 18, that is LESS than 1/4 of our lives, and yet it seems to last so long.
I hear a lot about families and friends, in addition to numerous inventions, and yes, I am thankful for all that. But what I am really most thankful for is memory, or lack thereof.
Memories can be happy or sad, but each one let's us build on a previous experience. When I was 17, I added to much water to bisquick and got soup. Yum. Never did that again. And I always remember how much fun I have with certain people, and how I want to ram my foot up the ass of the ones who annoy me.
But I am most thankful for my young son's lack of memory, and I truly believe that is a gift from God. Parenting, especially the first time around, is fraught with error. The time I left Asa in the garage in his car seat, with no lights on, makes me furious with myself. So is the time he rolled down our short flight of stairs, rolled off the bed, or the time he started crying when I was in the shower. Ouch-he would have a lot to tell his therapist if he could remember all that. But God cuts us some slack-we get a few years to at least work out the major kinks. Sure, Asa has learned we love him because we hug him again and again (and maybe throw in a few kisses as well.) He can slowly build on that. But the one time in the dark garage is gone. Whew.
If you think about it, the fact that none of us (not just my son) are born with memory is a gift for all of us. Childhood, in relation to the rest of our lives, is the shortest time period of all. Assuming we live to be 80, and assuming we are in childhood till about 18, that is LESS than 1/4 of our lives, and yet it seems to last so long.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Good Parenting
Right now I am surrounded by reproduction. Most of my friends either have young children or are working on acquiring some (this is a public space-no details needed.) I can't help but stop and think back to the blissful days when I had parenting down to a science. Um, that would be before Asa arrived. Now that he is here, I can't resist passing on my two cents.
1. For new parents to be, and new parents, I would say this: ignore most of what you hear!!!! Doens't that sound like an oxymoron-take MY advice and ignore everyone else's. The truth is, if I had a dime for every piece of crap I heard, we would be in Disney World right now. I was told not to paint the nursery because lifting my arms above my head would strangle the baby. I heard that my intestinal woes were all in my head, that I didn't nap enough, I got to much exercise, and my personal favorite-I wouldn't be able to drive myself to the hospital once labor started. Um, I did drive myself to the hospital, after I stopped by the post office, and I was in labor the whole time.
You will encounter a few gems. My sister gave me some fo the best advice-don't try and change your baby's schedule during the holidays; wait till after the holidays when things aren't so crazy. Getting Asa to sleep in a crib went like a dream-once I waited for January. And whoever suggested going on car rides to get a baby to sleep is my personal hero. We still use that one. But be prepared to be freaked out and scared by worthless crap that is only designed to send you to your doctor in panic.
2. Always, always remember that no one knows your kid like you do-trust your instinct/judgement.
When Asa was first born, everyone told me he needed to nap, needed to nap, needed to nap. Yeah-I heard it all the time. Numerous crying episodes later-by him, not me-we gave up on the formal nap times. Listening to him cry in his crib for 30 minutes, so he might sleep 20, didn't seem worth it. And I knew that but I was afraid as a parent I was doing something wrong. I should have trusted my gut, which was neither myself, nor Nick, were much at napping so it wasn't a stretch to think Asa wouldn't be either. For good or bad, nobody will love your kid like you will and no one should know him/her better. Don't be afraid to say that you will try something new, but don't be intimidated to do what you feel is right.
3. The last bit of advice I can give is one I kind of ignored and wished I had paid closer attention too.
Don't ever, ever worry about getting your kids toys. We thought we were being cautious when we only registered for a few educational toys. We failed to factor in grandma and grandpa-both sets. The four of them have gotten Asa anything we might have missed. In addition, my kid seems to be willing to touch anything he isn't suppose to, and ignore the appropriate stuff. He isn't special-kids have a built in desire to touch sharp knives, hot stoves, and anything disgustingly dirty. I fI had a quarter for every rock I found in my house, we would not only be at Disney World, but doing the cruise package along with it.
As a parent, you will make mistakes. It is the nature of the beast-you get this alien with no instructions who doesn't even speak your language. I may never be a good parent, but I will be the parent trying to be her best.
1. For new parents to be, and new parents, I would say this: ignore most of what you hear!!!! Doens't that sound like an oxymoron-take MY advice and ignore everyone else's. The truth is, if I had a dime for every piece of crap I heard, we would be in Disney World right now. I was told not to paint the nursery because lifting my arms above my head would strangle the baby. I heard that my intestinal woes were all in my head, that I didn't nap enough, I got to much exercise, and my personal favorite-I wouldn't be able to drive myself to the hospital once labor started. Um, I did drive myself to the hospital, after I stopped by the post office, and I was in labor the whole time.
You will encounter a few gems. My sister gave me some fo the best advice-don't try and change your baby's schedule during the holidays; wait till after the holidays when things aren't so crazy. Getting Asa to sleep in a crib went like a dream-once I waited for January. And whoever suggested going on car rides to get a baby to sleep is my personal hero. We still use that one. But be prepared to be freaked out and scared by worthless crap that is only designed to send you to your doctor in panic.
2. Always, always remember that no one knows your kid like you do-trust your instinct/judgement.
When Asa was first born, everyone told me he needed to nap, needed to nap, needed to nap. Yeah-I heard it all the time. Numerous crying episodes later-by him, not me-we gave up on the formal nap times. Listening to him cry in his crib for 30 minutes, so he might sleep 20, didn't seem worth it. And I knew that but I was afraid as a parent I was doing something wrong. I should have trusted my gut, which was neither myself, nor Nick, were much at napping so it wasn't a stretch to think Asa wouldn't be either. For good or bad, nobody will love your kid like you will and no one should know him/her better. Don't be afraid to say that you will try something new, but don't be intimidated to do what you feel is right.
3. The last bit of advice I can give is one I kind of ignored and wished I had paid closer attention too.
Don't ever, ever worry about getting your kids toys. We thought we were being cautious when we only registered for a few educational toys. We failed to factor in grandma and grandpa-both sets. The four of them have gotten Asa anything we might have missed. In addition, my kid seems to be willing to touch anything he isn't suppose to, and ignore the appropriate stuff. He isn't special-kids have a built in desire to touch sharp knives, hot stoves, and anything disgustingly dirty. I fI had a quarter for every rock I found in my house, we would not only be at Disney World, but doing the cruise package along with it.
As a parent, you will make mistakes. It is the nature of the beast-you get this alien with no instructions who doesn't even speak your language. I may never be a good parent, but I will be the parent trying to be her best.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Food, Food-The Magical Fruit?
A few months ago I wrote about my take on feeding my son, and it sparked some very fun, and informative, side conversations. With that in mind, I wanted to share about a book I am currently reading. "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan has been an extremely informative book on food systems in the United States as they stand today. This is an industry that is experiencing enourmous change, so this book should be out of date within a few years.
I am only half way through, but so far I have learned about our dependence on corn, the life of animals in feed lots, and a bit about the working life of farmers. It is absolutley true that you are what you eat and this book brings that concept home. I tell you what-I won't promise to never eat another Chicken McNugget from the golden arches but I no longer call them "food" either, let alone chicken, and it will be awhile before I let my lips, or my son's lips, touch one. I am a proud omnivore and I was grossed out.
Am I dismayed by what I am "uncovering" reagrding my food? Not really. If you are familiar with Upton Sinclair, you will remember that he wrote a similar expose regarding the Chicago meat plants in the last century. Did you know it used to be legal to bulk up ground hamburger with sawdust? Yum. The hard, cold truth is that we are a capitalist society, for better or for worse. We as consumers have always demanded cheaper products and Industry will deliver. They aren't a social service, they aren't charity workers-they are out for a buck. And that is true of just about everything. It is MY JOB as the consumer to be aware of who is taking me for what ride. I have the right to demand better, I have the right to not buy a certain product. And this book will give you ideas as to what product you really want to support.
I am only half way through, but so far I have learned about our dependence on corn, the life of animals in feed lots, and a bit about the working life of farmers. It is absolutley true that you are what you eat and this book brings that concept home. I tell you what-I won't promise to never eat another Chicken McNugget from the golden arches but I no longer call them "food" either, let alone chicken, and it will be awhile before I let my lips, or my son's lips, touch one. I am a proud omnivore and I was grossed out.
Am I dismayed by what I am "uncovering" reagrding my food? Not really. If you are familiar with Upton Sinclair, you will remember that he wrote a similar expose regarding the Chicago meat plants in the last century. Did you know it used to be legal to bulk up ground hamburger with sawdust? Yum. The hard, cold truth is that we are a capitalist society, for better or for worse. We as consumers have always demanded cheaper products and Industry will deliver. They aren't a social service, they aren't charity workers-they are out for a buck. And that is true of just about everything. It is MY JOB as the consumer to be aware of who is taking me for what ride. I have the right to demand better, I have the right to not buy a certain product. And this book will give you ideas as to what product you really want to support.
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