It's the most wonderful time of the year...for crappy gifts and hurt feelings. No matter how much we talk about it, or read about it, there always seems to be some glitch in the gift giving process. The Guilt Trip curtesy of your mother-in-law, the Material Trip coming from your kids, or maybe it is the Useless Gift coming from your spouse. We still laugh at the year my dad gave my mom a square egg maker-as if the eggs taste different when they change shape.
Thanks to a person in my life who shall remain nameless (even though they claim to never read this, it is a public space), I have been elevated to "EXPERT OF CRAPPY GIFTS". That is my official title after "Head Maid" my kids bestowed on me. For many years in a row, I got horrible things-things that made me growl and howl at the injustice of it all. But when all is said and done, I learned a couple valuable lessons from "Gertrude", that I am now passing onto the rest of the world.
A. Gift Giving isn't about the giver, it is about the receiver. Sometimes we feel pressured by business, sometimes we feel pressured by social customs, but either way, when I pick out a gift, it isn't about me. Truly think about the person you are buying for-what do they like? What would make them smile? What floats their boat? I have stood in line for over 30 minutes to buy my mom perfume I think stinks, but mom loves it. I have searched high and low for Oregon State Univ. items for my black and orange husband, even though I cheer on their rivals, the Univ. of Oregon Ducks. It is always with the same motto in mind-what will make the other person happy.
B. Every year, I seem to get a request for "what's on my list", whether it be in jest (George Clooney), or seriousness (World Peace), or affordable (books). Right after that, I get the complaint from Gertrude,"lists are so impersonal-I want to get something special." The first time I heard that, I thought it was sweet-like going above and beyond the duty of buying and putting something extra special in the whole process. Now when I hear that from her, or anyone else, I cringe. Very few of us claim to have psychic powers, and even those that make the claim admit the power can be sketchy at times (no lottery winners amongst that bunch). Unless you are absolutely sure, stick to the list. Now when someone says "I am not using their list", what I hear is, "I could give a rats ass what they want." When you purchase something using a list, you are getting someone what they want. What can make a person happier than that-getting what they want? It is a shoo-in for happiness, and you blow it by assuming your ego can out think the gift recevieree (okay, maybe that is not a word but it sounds good.) There is no shame in sticking to a list-it means you care to get someone something they want and if you think I am repeating myself , you would be right. Stick to the list! Make someone happy!
C. Now, what if you don't have a list? It happens, and it is no reason to panic. Some families like to go off the fly, and sometimes it is a work party. However, put on your thinking cap, and use some self-honesty. My first piece of advice still holds true-the gift is NOT about you. What makes most people happy? Food? Luxuries? World Peace? (My second mentioning of that-let me know if you can make it happen.) Think about what you ALWAYS get at little parties (ie. bridal and baby showers) and do the exact OPPOSITE! No more candles, no more bookmarks, no more teachers dirty looks...or something to that effect. My favorite "go to" gifts are gift certificates/cards. They get a lot of flak because people forget to use them...not my problem. Somehow I have NEVER had a problem collecting free stuff. Starbucks is popular, and I wouldn't sneer at their gift card. Baskin and Robbins is great for gift certificates because they come in $2 increments-great for a tight budget and their ice cream is yum yum yummy. Think locally too though-the mom/pop theater is another one of my favorites. Locally is always nice, and the buzzword right now, but don't worry if it ins't practical. When I sent a wedding gift out of town, it was much easier to get a gift card to a chain I knew we both could get to, rather than research what was available in an area had I never been too.
D. People seem to think that gifts should scream individuality, life long purpose, and the best thing since sliced bread. But the truth is, we are really just bringing brief moments of thoughtfulness. I said it once before, however it bears repeating-truly stop and think about the person you are buying for. The year my aunt and uncle moved to a new town, we got the them gift certificates to three different restraunts. They loved trying new places. My sister and I both love receiving our zoo passes, a place we couldn't afford to continually take our children otherwise. One of the best gifts I ever got was a used book, with writing all over the front page. A very hard to find book, Katie knew the series was one of my favorites, and picked out the book as a bridal gift for me. (Okay, that wasn't on any list, but I didn't know it existed-score A LOT for Katie's psychic powers.) Also, in this tight economy, think about the little things people need, or the little luxuries they might enjoy but are scrimping on. Pedicures and Starbucks are just plain fun, but for someone on a very tight budget, they might really appreciate stamps or public bus tickets. Those things aren't fancy, but when money is so tight you are debating between those bus tickets or some groceries, the strain of not having to worry about those items for a few months is a gift in and of itself.
(If you noticed a pattern to the above gifts, gold star by your name. Not one thing I mentioned is "stuff". Most of us have the things we need-another decorative snowman or Menorah is NOT what I need, and lots of you are in the boat.)
E. A quick word on homemade gifts. Every year, Martha Stewart and magazines trot out homemade gifts as the cure to all Christmas woes. They aren't. For one, we all have a Gertrude on our list who is not happy unless you hand them the moon. And while I am not upset when I don't meet Gertrude's "demands", I can understand her aversion to homemade gifts. I once made my aunt a bracelet from yarn, in part to show my kids how great homemade gifts can be. Yep-the braclelet looked like what it was-yarn in knots. Plus, unless you are Bob Villa or Martha Stewart, what you make will not look nearly as good as you think it should. If you are crafty and can make things look special go for it, but for the rest of us with 9 thumbs and a pinkie, the amount of time, money, and effort it takes to make something homemade, it would be just as much fun to invite someone over for a "drinking" buffet and call it good. A nice time out is never out of style and spending time with people is a great "gift" idea. (I did this-rather than make myself cook, I invited people to just relax and hang out. I offered hot cider, a bottle of wine, some water, beer, wine coolers, punch, milk, and some type of juice. WAAYYY easier, gave me time to chat, and clean up was a BREEZE!)
So, after an article like this, people always want to know what was the best gift, and worst gift I ever received? Well, luckily, the best gift is to hard to nail down to just one. I got ski's when I was 13-I was so excited to get them I fractured my ankle and had to wait almost 2 months before I got to use them. And my first Christmas with my new boyfriend (now graduated to husband), instead of getting me jewelry like his friends told him too, he got me this really nice book I had wanted. He and the book were a keeper-I hate jewelry. I am sure the first gift my kids truly pick out will put a tear in my eye.
The worst gift I got is much easier. I won't describe it here-it is too distinctive and the person who gave it to me would recognize it. And the item itself isn't bad-it is on the expensive side and many people would enjoy it. When it was handed to me, all wrapped up on Christmas Eve, the Giver said to me "I know Dena won't like it." WOW. Nothing makes you feel respected and well-liked as knowing the person is purposely handing you a gift they know you won't like. Did you shop long and hard for that, or did it come to you out of the blue? That is when I learned that if you really want to make someone's holiday special, shop and give with the receiver in mind.
Regardless of what you are celebrating this time of year, may your days be merry, your evenings cheery, and family and friends by your side. Best Wishes to all.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, November 04, 2010
The Great Voting Debacle
Another year, another vote, another year of relief that the season is over. I know I speak for many people when I say that between the advertisements and smear campaigns, November is almost a relief despite the advent of crappy weather in our part of the world-Oregon.
The most disappointing thing, obviously, is the lack of voters. However, I can't say I blame people. It took everything in me to vote, because I really didn't want too. And I am not alone-millions of people out there feel like I do-what the hell am I voting for? Jane Doe accuses her opponent of not supporting the elderly. So Joe Nobody fires back with accusations that Jane is going to cut school funding. Jane lobs a "he is against civil rights". Joe fires back with "she is for the rich". After weeks of slinging, Election Day arrives and I have no idea what these 2 candidates stand for. How will they pay for social services? What is their stance on raising the minumum wage? Toll bridges? Farm subsidies? Water rights? Distribution of lottery money? Establishing a rainy day fund? The Rose Festival? Anything besides attacking their opponent?
It used to be that we taught Ethics in school, but that is out due to lack of funding. I am not talking about right and wrong-that is still taught despite what some people think. I am talking about Ethics in relation to the Government-another class we don't hear much about either. The big push is for Math and Science-as if nothing else is an indicator of how smart or well-adjusted we are. Math and Science obviously have their place in society-says the girl communicating via one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs ever-but there are other subjects out there equally important. Knowing how your country is run, and where your taxes go is pretty far up my list of what should be taught in schools too. Knowing how voting effects your life, and what your representatives actually do at the Local, State, and National level also seems important, but apparently not in relation to Math or Science.
I also think special interest groups are bogging us down. Granted there are some causes I find more important than others-while I am paying close attention to school funding, I have to admit that my knowledge of crops imported overseas is pretty spotty. However, some people are making one cause the whole point of their existence over the exclusion of everything else. The election a few years back asked us to vote on whether we should cut spending to parks and wildlife, and give the money to schools. I admit schools need funding, but at the risk of gutting our state treasures? Of sacrificing clean water and a diverse bio-system? Reading the Jewish Review, Jeff Merkley, current US Senator for Oregon, stated that often, when voting on an issue, one Senator will delay the vote on passage of a bill and often times the bill is re-written, or never brought up again (I am NOT quoting Jeff Merkley directly). What is the point of voting if you know your representatives can't get shit done? That one special interest will make sure that nothing opposes THEIR interest?
My minor in college was Political Science. While I am no expert, I took classes on International Relations, The UN, and Local Government. The NUMBER ONE reason I vote isn't because I think I am being heard, or that I think my interests are being fairly represented. While one vote can count (we covered that in class), I am pessimistic enough to think it isn't usually my vote. I vote simply for those who can't. Somewhere, right now, someone is willing to die so their country can experience a taste of democracy. Right now, someone is probably dying just to have a voice in local politics. Over 200 hundred years ago, a group of men, and women, gave up almost everything so their children wouldn't be British subjects, but have control from this side "of the pond". Some of them sacrificied personal fortunes, some of them their lives. To look all these people in the face-ancient or more recent-and say "sorry, I didn't vote because...who cares?" seems to be rude, and shitty. I can't do it. I just can't do it. To all these people who are currently living under totalitarian regimes, dictators, and despots, I owe it to them to continue to vote so they have some small shred of hope that one day they can vote to.
If you didn't vote this time, do it next time in honor of someone who wants to, but can't.
The most disappointing thing, obviously, is the lack of voters. However, I can't say I blame people. It took everything in me to vote, because I really didn't want too. And I am not alone-millions of people out there feel like I do-what the hell am I voting for? Jane Doe accuses her opponent of not supporting the elderly. So Joe Nobody fires back with accusations that Jane is going to cut school funding. Jane lobs a "he is against civil rights". Joe fires back with "she is for the rich". After weeks of slinging, Election Day arrives and I have no idea what these 2 candidates stand for. How will they pay for social services? What is their stance on raising the minumum wage? Toll bridges? Farm subsidies? Water rights? Distribution of lottery money? Establishing a rainy day fund? The Rose Festival? Anything besides attacking their opponent?
It used to be that we taught Ethics in school, but that is out due to lack of funding. I am not talking about right and wrong-that is still taught despite what some people think. I am talking about Ethics in relation to the Government-another class we don't hear much about either. The big push is for Math and Science-as if nothing else is an indicator of how smart or well-adjusted we are. Math and Science obviously have their place in society-says the girl communicating via one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs ever-but there are other subjects out there equally important. Knowing how your country is run, and where your taxes go is pretty far up my list of what should be taught in schools too. Knowing how voting effects your life, and what your representatives actually do at the Local, State, and National level also seems important, but apparently not in relation to Math or Science.
I also think special interest groups are bogging us down. Granted there are some causes I find more important than others-while I am paying close attention to school funding, I have to admit that my knowledge of crops imported overseas is pretty spotty. However, some people are making one cause the whole point of their existence over the exclusion of everything else. The election a few years back asked us to vote on whether we should cut spending to parks and wildlife, and give the money to schools. I admit schools need funding, but at the risk of gutting our state treasures? Of sacrificing clean water and a diverse bio-system? Reading the Jewish Review, Jeff Merkley, current US Senator for Oregon, stated that often, when voting on an issue, one Senator will delay the vote on passage of a bill and often times the bill is re-written, or never brought up again (I am NOT quoting Jeff Merkley directly). What is the point of voting if you know your representatives can't get shit done? That one special interest will make sure that nothing opposes THEIR interest?
My minor in college was Political Science. While I am no expert, I took classes on International Relations, The UN, and Local Government. The NUMBER ONE reason I vote isn't because I think I am being heard, or that I think my interests are being fairly represented. While one vote can count (we covered that in class), I am pessimistic enough to think it isn't usually my vote. I vote simply for those who can't. Somewhere, right now, someone is willing to die so their country can experience a taste of democracy. Right now, someone is probably dying just to have a voice in local politics. Over 200 hundred years ago, a group of men, and women, gave up almost everything so their children wouldn't be British subjects, but have control from this side "of the pond". Some of them sacrificied personal fortunes, some of them their lives. To look all these people in the face-ancient or more recent-and say "sorry, I didn't vote because...who cares?" seems to be rude, and shitty. I can't do it. I just can't do it. To all these people who are currently living under totalitarian regimes, dictators, and despots, I owe it to them to continue to vote so they have some small shred of hope that one day they can vote to.
If you didn't vote this time, do it next time in honor of someone who wants to, but can't.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Financial Aid, and Aid, and Aid......
My sister and I are only one year a part. I won't bore you with the usual sibling arguing and what-not, but the upshot is, my mom and dad had 2 kids in college at the same time. (Okay, at the time I didn't think I was a kid, but add a few decades and the perspective changes.) We both attended the local, and good, community college, and then with the help of financial aid we both transfered to bigger schools and got degrees. We both had a small savings but it was meager-I think I could have purchased two books with it. The reality is, we were in no way prepared for the expense of college. Thank goodness for financial aid-the job I have today was dependent upon my degree. And I LOVE my job.
Now that I work at a college, I am more prepared for what college can cost-and I assume the price will continue to rise. So for my sons I have a savings account. Right now, they cannot afford college. However, right now it is not an issue. We have a few years to save.
Apparently this is the wrong thing to do. Every article I have read on saving for education says DON'T. Why you ask? Because if my kids have a savings account, they may not get financial aid.
When did financial aid go from "helping those who need it", to "a way to avoid paying for college if you don't have too?" Obviously I believe in financial aid. I also believe that as college costs continue to rise at astronomical rates, more and more people will need it. But whatever happened to "paying for college yourself"? And what happens when A) you don't get that sports star scholarship? B) your great grades are nothing special? C) they simply run out of money and no matter how much you need it, it won't get it? Not everyone who applies, gets financial help and if you have spent the last 18 years avoiding a savings account because of the assumption you will get some kind of financial aid, it's going to be rough.
Maybe I am leaping here, but it seems a repeat of the message "don't do for yourself what you think the government can do for you." No fears-I am not turning into a conservative. But I see a lot of good ideas morphed into something the were never intended to be because suddenly everyone wanted a piece, not just those the help was intended for.
Examples?
*The wealthy collecting Social Security because they think they are owed it.
*The person Nick knew who got financial aid, then worked under the table for his dad and used the money for a new car instead of his education (why would he-financial aid paid for schooling.)
*A single parent receiving gov't aid even though child support is current and sufficient (dead-beat parents are a different issue).
*Collecting death benefits, even if a life insurance policy ensured it's own set of benefits.
There are legitimate reasons for using social programs, and that is what they are there for: to help people. But I get frustrated that everyone seems to think they are owed this help, whether they need it or not. Hopefully, we won't need financial aid. But I have no idea what the future holds and if our position changes, and we face financial hardship, I will apply like all other parents. Help is there because you NEED it, not because you WANT it.
Now that I work at a college, I am more prepared for what college can cost-and I assume the price will continue to rise. So for my sons I have a savings account. Right now, they cannot afford college. However, right now it is not an issue. We have a few years to save.
Apparently this is the wrong thing to do. Every article I have read on saving for education says DON'T. Why you ask? Because if my kids have a savings account, they may not get financial aid.
When did financial aid go from "helping those who need it", to "a way to avoid paying for college if you don't have too?" Obviously I believe in financial aid. I also believe that as college costs continue to rise at astronomical rates, more and more people will need it. But whatever happened to "paying for college yourself"? And what happens when A) you don't get that sports star scholarship? B) your great grades are nothing special? C) they simply run out of money and no matter how much you need it, it won't get it? Not everyone who applies, gets financial help and if you have spent the last 18 years avoiding a savings account because of the assumption you will get some kind of financial aid, it's going to be rough.
Maybe I am leaping here, but it seems a repeat of the message "don't do for yourself what you think the government can do for you." No fears-I am not turning into a conservative. But I see a lot of good ideas morphed into something the were never intended to be because suddenly everyone wanted a piece, not just those the help was intended for.
Examples?
*The wealthy collecting Social Security because they think they are owed it.
*The person Nick knew who got financial aid, then worked under the table for his dad and used the money for a new car instead of his education (why would he-financial aid paid for schooling.)
*A single parent receiving gov't aid even though child support is current and sufficient (dead-beat parents are a different issue).
*Collecting death benefits, even if a life insurance policy ensured it's own set of benefits.
There are legitimate reasons for using social programs, and that is what they are there for: to help people. But I get frustrated that everyone seems to think they are owed this help, whether they need it or not. Hopefully, we won't need financial aid. But I have no idea what the future holds and if our position changes, and we face financial hardship, I will apply like all other parents. Help is there because you NEED it, not because you WANT it.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
What Did You Do When You First Got Here?
It seems like I keep going back to History when I blog. Not sure if that is because I like it, know about it, or a combo of all of thee above, but it seems natural to me to explore what we used to do, and compare it to what we do now.
I got an interesting e-mail stating that if the current immigrants would quit causing trouble, like being drug dealers and driving drunk, and be more like the immigrants of old who came as hard-working citizens and caused no trouble, then no one would have a problem with them.
Whoa boys-hold the can of whoop ass.
Maybe that is why I keep involving the badge of History-people throw it around like it is a shield of purity.
First off, immigrants have never been welcome in this country. From the time the first white man set foot upon the shore and declared HIMSELF (yep, a man walked off the boat first) waayyyy better than the locals, there has been friction. Can't say I blame the Native Americans. You live here for thousands of years, a newcomer shows up, and you are the bad guy? Boy does that sound like fun.
Once the Natives were tossed off the land, and the white guys proliferated like rabbits, future boat loads of people were greeted with suspicion at best, and derision and chains at it's worst. The Irish came in the early part of the 1800's, only to be greeted with signs in the store windows denying Catholics entrance. Eastern Europeans came in the late 1800's, only to be greeted with claims that they were dirty and basically shuttled to their own neighborhoods so the genteel public didn't really have to mix with them. And I am just talking about Ellis Island here. On the West Coast, despite a very low crime rate, any and all Asians were assumed opiate addicts and they never lost their "foreigner" status no matter how long they stayed in this country (internment camps during WWII prove this). And the slaves stolen from Africa never stood a chance-they weren't even labeled human, but poor farmers in the South hated them just the same for being cheap labor.
Once here, immigrants faced the same challenges then, as they do today. Lack of language kept them out of jobs, discrimination kept them from education. The Irish took over local politics to get jobs for other Irish. Good beginnings went wrong and we ended up with Tamany Hall and corruption in numerous states back east. The Italians organized and established the Mafia in their new country-USA. AL Capone is the most famous but there were others, either from Italy, or born to Italian immigrants, who created murder and chaos wherever they went. The Jews basically started Hollywood, which depending on where you stand, can be the root of all evil, or a dream factory. Okay, Hollywood and the Mafia aren't exactly the same on the Evil Scale, but back in the day, that kind of entertainment was considered more sinful then it is today. Despite his star status, Clark Cable's dad never accepted his son's profession and it took Walt Disney years to convince his dad that Animation was a legitimate career choice.
So to ask a new immigrant to be like an old immigrant of yore, well that could be asking for trouble.
So what should we ask the new immigrants? How about coming here legally? Thousands of Catholics, Jews, Asians-all groups traditionally discriminated against in this country-sold EVERYTHING they had to get passage to a country that they HOPED would be better. Even as late as the 1950's, refuges out of Europe (my father-in-law's family) waited years in European refuge camps, and months on Ellis Island, before they were permitted to enter the USA. Hell, depending on what decade you showed up, you couldn't stay if you couldn't prove you already had either A) proof of employment or B) a relative waiting to take care of you so you didn't need public assistance. How are we racist today, to demand the same things?
The racist comments really bother me. I don't think I am a racist for demanding immigrants be here legally. I never even said what nationality I was talking about, since I mean all of them. But it sure is a lot easier to cross an invisible line than it is to come thousands of miles by boat, or even airplane. And I don't expect every single one of them to be paragons of virtue-the weren't in the past and they won't be in the future. But if we are going to use History as our example, and everyone seems to be, how about demanding everyone be here legally? Can I repeat that? Everyone be here legally-that s it. So simple.
I got an interesting e-mail stating that if the current immigrants would quit causing trouble, like being drug dealers and driving drunk, and be more like the immigrants of old who came as hard-working citizens and caused no trouble, then no one would have a problem with them.
Whoa boys-hold the can of whoop ass.
Maybe that is why I keep involving the badge of History-people throw it around like it is a shield of purity.
First off, immigrants have never been welcome in this country. From the time the first white man set foot upon the shore and declared HIMSELF (yep, a man walked off the boat first) waayyyy better than the locals, there has been friction. Can't say I blame the Native Americans. You live here for thousands of years, a newcomer shows up, and you are the bad guy? Boy does that sound like fun.
Once the Natives were tossed off the land, and the white guys proliferated like rabbits, future boat loads of people were greeted with suspicion at best, and derision and chains at it's worst. The Irish came in the early part of the 1800's, only to be greeted with signs in the store windows denying Catholics entrance. Eastern Europeans came in the late 1800's, only to be greeted with claims that they were dirty and basically shuttled to their own neighborhoods so the genteel public didn't really have to mix with them. And I am just talking about Ellis Island here. On the West Coast, despite a very low crime rate, any and all Asians were assumed opiate addicts and they never lost their "foreigner" status no matter how long they stayed in this country (internment camps during WWII prove this). And the slaves stolen from Africa never stood a chance-they weren't even labeled human, but poor farmers in the South hated them just the same for being cheap labor.
Once here, immigrants faced the same challenges then, as they do today. Lack of language kept them out of jobs, discrimination kept them from education. The Irish took over local politics to get jobs for other Irish. Good beginnings went wrong and we ended up with Tamany Hall and corruption in numerous states back east. The Italians organized and established the Mafia in their new country-USA. AL Capone is the most famous but there were others, either from Italy, or born to Italian immigrants, who created murder and chaos wherever they went. The Jews basically started Hollywood, which depending on where you stand, can be the root of all evil, or a dream factory. Okay, Hollywood and the Mafia aren't exactly the same on the Evil Scale, but back in the day, that kind of entertainment was considered more sinful then it is today. Despite his star status, Clark Cable's dad never accepted his son's profession and it took Walt Disney years to convince his dad that Animation was a legitimate career choice.
So to ask a new immigrant to be like an old immigrant of yore, well that could be asking for trouble.
So what should we ask the new immigrants? How about coming here legally? Thousands of Catholics, Jews, Asians-all groups traditionally discriminated against in this country-sold EVERYTHING they had to get passage to a country that they HOPED would be better. Even as late as the 1950's, refuges out of Europe (my father-in-law's family) waited years in European refuge camps, and months on Ellis Island, before they were permitted to enter the USA. Hell, depending on what decade you showed up, you couldn't stay if you couldn't prove you already had either A) proof of employment or B) a relative waiting to take care of you so you didn't need public assistance. How are we racist today, to demand the same things?
The racist comments really bother me. I don't think I am a racist for demanding immigrants be here legally. I never even said what nationality I was talking about, since I mean all of them. But it sure is a lot easier to cross an invisible line than it is to come thousands of miles by boat, or even airplane. And I don't expect every single one of them to be paragons of virtue-the weren't in the past and they won't be in the future. But if we are going to use History as our example, and everyone seems to be, how about demanding everyone be here legally? Can I repeat that? Everyone be here legally-that s it. So simple.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
History, History, History
I seem to be in a pattern. Don't blog for months at a time, and when I do, be sure to bring up History. Why break the pattern now?
The funny thing about History though, is that as much as everyone readily admits to not liking it, it gets used a lot. Especially Politics/Current Events-people love to bring up The Good Old Days.
In the Good Old Days, no bad happened. It was a bucolic time with less violence, less selfishness, more time to stop and smell the flowers. An era when people used their time wisely and really connected to nature and her environs.
Can we say bullshit? Horse-puckey? Rose-colored glasses?
Okay, some things were better. People did connect to nature more. When you are shoveling horse poop on your farm, or smelling it through your tenement apartment, you were forcefully reminded of nature. People did connect with one another more, as the only "media" that existed was the newspaper (depending on how far back you go). The whole community could usually tell you what your children were up to, and you usually knew the whole community so that was helpful.
But it was not all easy. Statistically, most children died before their 5th birthday. If you spoke a funny language, or even had a weird accent (think of all the regional areas of the United States) you could be denied service ANYWHERE. Violence was rampant but not talked about in the form of spousal abuse and child abuse. Was someone in your family handicapped/mentally challenged? That person faced a life if derision and outcast. And don't get me started on drugs-most order-by-mail drugs were rife with drugs that were legal, but knowingly harmful.
Life in the city sucked for a lot of years. Horses, that look so quaint in pictures, pooped-everywhere. The city smelled, and sanitation wasn't so hot, so people smelled too. Disease was rampant, hence the reason so many young children died of diseases most of us can't pronounce anymore. The work week was 6 days a week, if you were lucky, and an employer could let you go for any reason-from being to ugly to pissing off your boss. Plus, there was discrimination, sexism, etc. You know the drill.
The countryside had it's own perils. Farm accidents claimed a lot of lives-children and adults a like. Nutritional diseases were rampant-when there was no crops, there was no food. If something went wrong, and it often did, your nearest neighbor was available by foot only after walking many miles.
Also regardless of where you lived, life was a struggle. Food preparation began with growing it, or getting it fresh somewhere. Then you washed it, preserved it, and hoped to God it was there in the lean months. Light in your house was candles that you made. Clothes were ones that you made. There was NO leisure time.
There are things about The Good Old Days that sound nice. I am still learning about growing food, and learning to do without so much materialism. I also work to make sure my kids can actaully play a game that doesn't involve batteries and identify some of the animals in our area. But I think most parents will agree that we don't want to lose our kids at age 5 and there is no way I want to go back to a time where all cooking involved a fire.
Instead of hearing about The Good Old Days, let's hear a politician talk about how they can Make The Current Days Better.
The funny thing about History though, is that as much as everyone readily admits to not liking it, it gets used a lot. Especially Politics/Current Events-people love to bring up The Good Old Days.
In the Good Old Days, no bad happened. It was a bucolic time with less violence, less selfishness, more time to stop and smell the flowers. An era when people used their time wisely and really connected to nature and her environs.
Can we say bullshit? Horse-puckey? Rose-colored glasses?
Okay, some things were better. People did connect to nature more. When you are shoveling horse poop on your farm, or smelling it through your tenement apartment, you were forcefully reminded of nature. People did connect with one another more, as the only "media" that existed was the newspaper (depending on how far back you go). The whole community could usually tell you what your children were up to, and you usually knew the whole community so that was helpful.
But it was not all easy. Statistically, most children died before their 5th birthday. If you spoke a funny language, or even had a weird accent (think of all the regional areas of the United States) you could be denied service ANYWHERE. Violence was rampant but not talked about in the form of spousal abuse and child abuse. Was someone in your family handicapped/mentally challenged? That person faced a life if derision and outcast. And don't get me started on drugs-most order-by-mail drugs were rife with drugs that were legal, but knowingly harmful.
Life in the city sucked for a lot of years. Horses, that look so quaint in pictures, pooped-everywhere. The city smelled, and sanitation wasn't so hot, so people smelled too. Disease was rampant, hence the reason so many young children died of diseases most of us can't pronounce anymore. The work week was 6 days a week, if you were lucky, and an employer could let you go for any reason-from being to ugly to pissing off your boss. Plus, there was discrimination, sexism, etc. You know the drill.
The countryside had it's own perils. Farm accidents claimed a lot of lives-children and adults a like. Nutritional diseases were rampant-when there was no crops, there was no food. If something went wrong, and it often did, your nearest neighbor was available by foot only after walking many miles.
Also regardless of where you lived, life was a struggle. Food preparation began with growing it, or getting it fresh somewhere. Then you washed it, preserved it, and hoped to God it was there in the lean months. Light in your house was candles that you made. Clothes were ones that you made. There was NO leisure time.
There are things about The Good Old Days that sound nice. I am still learning about growing food, and learning to do without so much materialism. I also work to make sure my kids can actaully play a game that doesn't involve batteries and identify some of the animals in our area. But I think most parents will agree that we don't want to lose our kids at age 5 and there is no way I want to go back to a time where all cooking involved a fire.
Instead of hearing about The Good Old Days, let's hear a politician talk about how they can Make The Current Days Better.
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