Thursday, September 27, 2007


Another friggin' recall?!?!?! Who knew that when I gave rocks to Asa to play with, it was the safest thing out there? I just thought I was being cheap.


Some people dust every Tuesday, laundry on Wednesday, baking on Thursday, etc. Everyday has it's chore. How do I know when to mop my floors? When I vacuum and they still look like a herd a buffalo went by, it's time to mop my floors. I do laundry when I run out of clean underwear. When the dust bunnies are bigger than Asa, I dust. When it is nice and sunny outside, forget everything I just said.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Us vs. Them

I watch Football. I understand that in sports, someone wins and someone loses. Hopefully my team wins, and the other team loses. But even if my team is not the winner, I can recognize the sprirt of a good game. And when we all go to bed that night, I am securing in knowing that it is all just a game.
So when did the world go crazy and demand everything be win or lose? Why is everything becoming a "you are with me or against me" attitude? Us vs. them? It's all or nothing? Are we all just a bunch of stereotypes?
If you put your kid in day care, you aren't willing to sacrifice for them
If you keep your kids at home, you're to protective and not willing to let them grow.
If you bottle feed babies, you don't care about their health.
If you breast feed you are a self-martyr who clings to her baby selfishly.
If you follow one religon, you have no business reasearching another.
If you are registered Democrat, you may not check out Republican candidates.
If you are a registered Republican, you may not check out Democratic candidates.
If you are neither Democrat or Republican, don't vote.
If you live in the city, you are a resource hog, demanding services 24/7 and out of touch with nature.
If you live in a small city, you are a bumpkin out of touch with the "real world".
Do you eat organically? Hippie
Do you eat what's put in front of you without asking where it came from? You don't care about the planet.
Buy at wal-mart? You support slave labor.
Listen to country music? You support gun rights.
Don't even get me started on immirgration. You just bring up the word, don't state a thought either way, and people call you a racist.
Lesbians work in social services.
People under 18 are unappreciatitve.
People over 40 are out of touch.
People over 60 don't care.
People over 80 have dementia.
Do you see where I am going with this. We get painted with a brush and that is it. We all follow patterns. In the summer I wear sandals and in the winter jeans. So do many others. I read, therefore I tend to hang out with others who read. I don't lead a life of crime, therefore my friends tend to be pretty straight-laced. But I also recognize that as much as I "chill" with people like me, no one is a carbon copy, and I resent that I am suppose to ignore, or at worst hate, others who are different. I resent the fact that I would be labeled as a suburbanite mom who must only care about diapers, playdates, and Elmo. That I have to join the battle on who's raising their kids "the right way", and as a woman, I will vote Hilary Clinton. As a "White" person, I am not suppose to know anything about minority rights, but as a Jew I am suppose to know about suffering.
I think we are raising the next generation to be confused. To fear what they don't know, and ignore what scares them. It is a dangerous situation. I hope that when Asa is old enough to express his feelings, he talks about how proud he is of his heritage, as a Jewish Man with European heritage from both his parents, and as an American. I also hope I teach him how honored we are to experience the pride of other cultures, other ideas, and other nations. I hope that I teach my son that it is not him against the world, but him with world.

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Good Old Days

I hate the phrase "in the good old days..." Now that we are gearing up for election season, politicians will cart out that phrase, or one strikingly similiar, like kids with candy at Halloween. As if just by saying it, they will magically become the one we all vote for.
I am not a historian, and I don't play one on tv. But I have a general history degree, and I have read A LOT of books on the stuff. Let me provide a brief overview of the good old days in the United States.
Violence: Anybody ever heard of the Ol' Wild West? It didn't get the moniker "wild" because they sat around darning socks. Although tv always distorts the truth, the gunslinger shows were accurate in that violence was an everyday part of life. These outposts of civilazations almost always had a saloon and I don't care who you are, fire water can make anyone crazy if they drink enough. The American Revolution wasn't a war of words, and I am sure the slaves who were beaten didn't feel loved. For that matter, I don't think the Native Tribes killed/or forced onto reservations felt they had a choice either. Prohibition sparked the Al Capone's of the world, and the reason they called it the St. Valentimes Day Massacre was because people died, by violence. I have no statistics-they are easily manipulated. But I don't think we are more or less violent today.
Health Care: Okay, this is a tricky one because I think health care INSURANCE companies are riping us off. And, there is some validity to the old ways. Cinnamon may help with high blood pressure, and gin soaked raisins seem to help with arthiritis, among other things. But really, the phrase "an apple a day, keeps the doctor away" was health insurance for a very long time! Seriously, in the early years, being a surgeon was an par with cutting hair and no good doctor would lower himself to either profession. Food related diseases, like ricketts and food poisoning, were not uncommon into the 1900's. And it was very common for a parent to bury at least two or three kids, often young children. Plagues like yellow or scarlet fever, dysentery, and typhoid fever would rip through a community or tenement building like wildfire. Health care today can use some fixing. But as the slogan goes, we have come along way baby. (Ironic that that is from cigarettes!)
Immigration: Hello, if any issue is an old one, this is it. The Statue of Liberty wasn't placed there to welcome the navy. We are a nation of immigrants and if you can find them, read books by Jane Adaams to get a perspective on what these people faced in the late 1880's/early 1900's. It sounds eerily similiar to today. Leaving behind all you know to go to a place where you don't speak the language and don't know what social services, if any, are available to you is stressful. Come on, immigrants are leaving their home. I barely function in another town let another country. And the reality is, the current population, whether it was 1692, 1892, or 1992, has never been receptive to new comers. Every major ethnic group in the last 400 years has faced discrimination when they set foot on this country. And Ellis Island had doctors that could send you back for poor health while the social service team was required to make sure you either had a sponsor or a job waiting. I won't debate immigration here. But I hate the sound bites of today that regulate this issue to three sentences. It is complicated. It is intense. And people's feelings are involved. But it is an issue we have been dealing with for hundreds of years. We should be able to get it right eventually.
Kids: If you read this blog regularly, you saw my blog on magazines and my new parenting style. It seems politicians use the phrase "family friendly" every time they sneeze. Kids today are generally safer, healthier, and have a happier existence than ever before. Yet every time I open up a magazine, newspaper, or see a blurb on tv, they are fat, broke, and commiting suicide at alarming rates. There are children out there suffering. It breaks my heart. Who should be their biggest ally, is their own worst enemy-their parents. But the reality is, for a lot of kids, things are pretty good. Deaths by illness is down, death by farm implements is way down, and most have access to some education (although that is a good debate too.) One story that brought it all home to me: My senior year in high school, I was whispering to a friend, so my mom wouldn't hear me, about the number of girls in our class who had possible abortions. I AM NOT DEBATING ABORTION-DON"T GET SIDETRACKED. My friend and I came up with 11. My mom leaned over and said "that is about how many girls in my senior year had abortions." Okay, lesson to myself, I can't whisper worth a shit. But it definitely pointed out to me that maybe things hadn't changed all that much.
Obviously, I love history. And there are some great moments, and lessons, that I wish everyone were aware of. But history isn't pretty. People are human beings who can be petty, mean, unkind, unfair, and downright rude (think Dr. Laura). But there are also humans who are unfailing kind, hopeful, and work for us all to a better way (think Jane Adaams again). In every generation there are the moments that make us cry, cheer, and wish some of our brethren were better behaved. It was like that 400 years ago, and it will be like that in the future as well. So just put "the good old days" in perspective.

Friday, September 14, 2007

You know your a parent when...

There are moments when you look at the little person behind you, your child, and you think to yourself "who is following me?" I have looked at Asa and been absolutley astounded that he is 1) actually mine and 2)the universe thinks I can be responsible for him. Other times I look at him and it hits me, I AM A MOM. Last night was a mom moment.
It's 10:30pm and I am sneaky into my son's room just like I used to sneak into the house at 3:00a so I wouldn't wake my parents. I have to be sure he is TOTALLY asleep so I can sneak his two best friends, puppy dog and blankie, out and into the wash. We can't do this awake. To have those two gone risks the ultimate meltdown. I successfully enter the room, grab blankie, and realize that puppy dog is under Asa's arm. My sister will understand when I say I felt like Robin Hood in the Disney version of that movie, stealing gold from Prince John. I am uttering the mantra "please don't wake up, please don't wake up" as I lift Asa's arm and snatch the dog away. Touchdown, I get both into the wash at 10:45p. So guess who gets to stay up until 1:00a with grainy eyes cursing the day we gve Asa the damn dog? Who in there right mind stays up that late to wash a dumb ass stuffed animal and it's side kick the over-sized kleenex? Only a parent, that's who. Once they were dry it was like a brand new team. Not only were they bright in color but super soft. I wantd to sleep with them myself as visions of childhood came filtering back. How upset can I get-I had a blankie too and I know the feeling.
You may be asking why I made such an effort to get these two washed? The other day Asa handed me puppy dog to kiss, of course handing me the dog's butt. I am a good mom, I did the obligatory kiss, only to discover that puppy dog had a crunchy ass. In my house, ANYTHING with a crunchy ass gets a bath. I still do not know what Asa got that dog into but if it happens again, I will be up till 1:00a waiting for the dryer to go off.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

My Ears Are Burning

It is official-I lost my virginity today. For those of you who know I gave BIRTH to a baby awhile back, don't look to shocked. Today, for the first time, I listened to a Dr. Laura program. It wasn't my fault! The lady who cuts my hair had it on. But it never hurts to JUST listen so I sat there looking thoughtful. If you like Dr. Laura, don't bother reading anymore. It will just hurt. If you think her conservative slant offended me, guess again. I had a hard time focusing on what Dr. Laura was SAYING because I couldn't get over how RUDE she was! She interrupts people, tells them they are wrong, and ignores them . One lady called in about a problem her fiancee was having and Dr. Laura responded with "don't marry a man without a backbone". We never heard the problem. And every caller started with how much they loved Dr. Laura. I felt like telling them that that was their first problem. The one guy she liked was the twit who wrote in saying he kept the weight off by parking in the back, taking stairs, and using his own personal gym equipment. If that is all it took for the rest of us, we would all look like Shania Twain.
I know I sound like a prude, but manners count with me. Please, thank-you, I'm sorry, and excuse me go along way with me. We all have those not so fresh days when we seem to say the wrong thing or interrupt on accident. But if the people who were the reason I had my job were calling me, I would be a little bit more grateful and a lot less like a bitch and harpie. I am now convinced her blond hair is a dye job-she just sounded trashy.
(Disclaimer-not all of us who dye our hair blonde are trashy. Just the harpie's.)