Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Broken Record

I think I have blogged about this before, but it has been awhile and I am just to happy that I have to share my joy with world. Um, no-I did not have the baby.
I am a geek. Slef-proclaimed, but geeky nonetheless. News reports Toma Cruise is in town-big yawn. Presidential candidates coming to town-I would go if there weren't so many other people but it isn't worth it to fight the crowds. Rock concerts, tv personalities, and teen-y boppers get the same treatment. I just don't care.
Geek, Geek, Geek, Geek, Geek.
Now let's pretend that, oh say, one of my FAVORITE children's author's, Eric Kimmel, is giving a free presentation in Decemeber and let's pretend that I am bringing one of his books with me in hopes of getting an autograph and you have a very pregnant lady acting like some teenage groupie! But truly, we don't have to pretend because after numerous tries (I always hear about his group events AFTER the fact), I have my calender marked!!!! Eric kimmel is giving a presentation in December!!! Nick is already tired of hearing about this but I am so excited!!!!!!!!! Ha-ha Alina-that is what you get for living so far away. Oooo-I am a mean groupie to boot!
I just get so excited about meeting authors, it is pathetic. I stood in line for over an hour so Janet Evanovich could sign my sister's book (and so I could say I saw her). Eric Larson, spoke on the westside of town and so I schlepped over there on a rainy night with baby in tow so I could hear him speak as well. I just bought tickets to hear Michael Pollan speak in January. This is what get's my boat not only floating but spinnning around and around and around!
So, for the public record-I am very excited to attend future functions with some of my favorite living authors and I am rubbing it in for other geeks out there who may care. And if you don't care, I am excited enough for both of us!!!!!!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Milk Carton?

If you don't want to read about me bitching and whining, stop reading now. Since this a diary, albiet a public one, I am going to write like it is truly a diary.
My legs are cramping so hard I can hardly walk, they hurt so bad and I keep thinking that maybe the kid will be born through there. (Think alien movies.)
My abdomen area is joining the chorus and cramping as well.
I keep getting contractions, but nothing consistent. It is just painful enough, and often enough, to piss me off.
I walk up stairs and I sound like an asmatic, smoker since I have no lung capacity.
My tailbone is now residing between my shoulder blades.
I slept 8 hours last night, and still needed a nap this afternoon.
And every article I read, baby book I look at, or childless person I talk to extolls the beauty and wonderous occasion of childbirth.
I feel like a poster child for birth control. Slap my picture on the side of some pills and warn people that this could happen to you if you opt to reproduce-especially if you are under 21 and not ready to waste the day sleeping.
And 6 months from now I will have forgotten most of this and just be glad I have two, healthy boys. Where is the fast forward button?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Slap Me Silly and Call Me Stupid

I will admit it on public access blogging-I love fast food. Burger King, Taco Bell, Taco Time-Mmmm Mmmm Good. But let's face it-healthy eating it ain't. I know this, and I accept the consequences. The piece of Iceberg Lettuce, Tomato, and Onion on my burger does not constitute a salad, and the ketchup, while healthy in a sense, is being washed down by potato's that are not only fried, but probably haven't seen the light of the sun in many, many, many days.
Have I proved my point? I know fast food is bad for me.
So now comes a study that not only is fast food bad for me, but, grab your chair, the kid meals they have are not healthy for children. Too many calories, to much fat, and not enough fruit or veggies to go along with the promotional toy. Well holy shit. Pass the ketchup and pop and call me stupid.
Maybe I have superior intellect ( I certainly like to think so), but if the lard in my taco bell burrito isn't good for my arteries, what would make someone think it is good for my son's? Same goes for the pop I like to drink-enough sugar to make a dog sick, and yet for the small body of my little boy, that amount of sugar is okay?
I think that I am changing careers to do studies as well. I need money so I can sit around all day and compare episodes of "Jeopardy" and "Perry Mason"-who's theme music makes me happier? I think that would produce results as informative as the fact that fast food is just as bad for grown-ups as it is for kids. Duh.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

How Do You Spell Relief?

So, after another doctor's appt., and still no baby, and still no baby in sight, we have set our own date. My official due date is Aug. 18th, but if no kid appears by Fri. Aug. 22nd, we are demanding a command appearance. After having contractions since Aug. 1, heartburn so bad I can taste it in my mouth, and to many sleepless hours to count, the kid is lucky I'm even giving him that much of a chance to come on his own. How ever, if things happen sooner, that is okay too. Wish us luck-we are ready to be a family of four.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Not Fun-But Current

A lot of people read this so I am leaving a quick message about baby "Thor". I have been VERY anti-social and have not called anyone back. I am sure it is hormones-I hope it means I am getting ready to sit on the couch with a screaming baby and not feel like going out while I schlepp a newborn. But who knows.
Anyway, it is Aug. 10, 2008, 6:22p, Pacific Standard Time and NO BABY!!! We are making progress, slowly. And we have tried many "remedies", like exercise, water, hot bathes, etc. But either this kid is stubborn (my bet), or he is just comfortable. Considering how much he kicks me, I don't think he is comfortable. If you know of anything else to try, short of drugs or beatings, let me know!

Friday, August 01, 2008


I will admit here on public space that not only am I going to make some sexist remarks, but mother-in-law has been vindicated.
Nick is a hard worker, loyal to a fault, and has the best sense of humor-until he gets sick. I couldn't understand how my mother-in-law could raise such a son that when he got sick, he turned into the Human "Uhhhhhhhh", Uhhhhhhh", "I am dying here" Machine. A simple cold turnes him into this creature.
Well, now I know my mother-in-law had nothing to do it with it. The truth has come out and the poor woman is...well, vindicated.
My son was sick this week. We got lucky-our biggest symptom was a very high fever. Granted the kid was a generator of heat, and I doubt he felt good, but with only one incident of throwing up, I feel like I dodged a bullet. So we set him up in his bed with a portable DVD player to watch Thomas the Train shows all day (that alone drove me insane), and made sure he had all his stuffed animals, favorite toys, juice, etc. close at hand to keep him comfortable. And bless Grandma Anne for coming over a few hours a day so I could at least get a few little things done. Because non-stop for 3 days-"uhhhh, uhhhhh, uhhhhh, uhhhhh, uhhhhh..." After raising two daughters and getting ready to welcome a fourth grandson, Grandma Anne summed it up nicely-"Boys whine more than you and your sister ever did when you were sick." Crap, and I have a second one of these creatures coming!
Asa is all better now, and free to whine about something else since he is also 2 1/2. But in case you are wondering, this is why women, if they opt to, have the babies. First sign of a leg cramp and men would give it all up.
And if I sound like I am whining, I learned it from my son.