Sunday, November 22, 2009

Being Thankful For...

So on Facaebook, a challenge went out to ask people to come up with one thing they are thankful for everyday. I don't think it takes a brain surgeon to realize this was in honor of Thanksgiving. Call me Pollyanna, or saintly, or just plain brilliant, but this task was not that hard. It helps that I love history, and I know that the good old days were not so good. Sure, you could walk around at night, and probably not see much crime, and obesity and the related health issues was not really a problem. Children were pretty creative, and families did spend more time together. But the average life span was much shorter, a lot of children died before the age of 5, and pollution was pretty much unchecked. Oh, and labor laws were pretty straight forward-you did what the boss said so working 6 days a week was pretty common. Plus, any type of abuse, from spousal to drugs, as simply not talked about even though it existed. We have come a long way baby.
So if you don't follow Facebook, you might be asking yourself, what is Dena so damn thankful for. On Facebook, I have been saying one thing a day, but let me sum up here:
I am thankful for everything.
To vague?
Honestly, there is my health, and all my family. The happy home my husband and I have created. That I can fall asleep on the couch, or go to my bed, and either way have a safe place to sleep. For friends that see my through my life, in good times and bad. For good books, and good music. Food I love. Jokes to laugh at and beautiful mountains to look at.
The truth is, life is not all good. We have our down times. Running into the garage door did not make my week, and dealing with a small child racked by diarhhea was not my idea of a good time. My prescription for my post-partum pills is too much money, and my four year-old thinks it is funny to fart on me.
But, that is life, and if you focus on the bad, that is all you're going to see. The little things of life, are turly not worth stressing to me, and I read about people who are experiencing war, abuse, and other difficulties, and suddenly, the fact that I have water all over my bathroom floor doesn't seem so bad. I will complain about it, but in my heart of hearts, I know that it isn't so bad.
Maybe it is just a matter of putting everything in perspective, or maybe I really am Pollyanna.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Dr. Laura Amendment

Dear Dr. Laura:

I finished your whole book, and I as much as it galls me, I have to admit that I aactually agree'd with you on a few things.
1. I would agree that spanking is not neccesarily child abuse. Granted, it can become child abuse, but a swat on the butt, that DOESN'T leave a mark, is not going to cause irrepreable harm to a child's psyche. I also agree that it should only be used when needed and not as your only form of punishment.
2. You are right that people shouldn't have kids if they aren't willing to invest the time to raise them, and that some parents need to actually do more parenting.

But day care is not evil, quanity is not more important than quality, and quit ragging on 2-income parents. As fewer and fewer jobs offer health care, how else are parents suppose to get health care for their kids?

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Dear Dr. Laura

Dear Dr. Laura:

I am almost done reading your book "10 Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Children". I thought I might learn someting about being a better parent. I was wrong. However, I did learn something else. As scary as it sounds, I agree with you, in part. I agree that more people should take responsibility as a parent and do better. I agree with you that people should stop having babies for the wrong reasons. I agree with you that children should be a higher priority with politicians, and as we shape policy for the future.
However, after that, you only show me your ignorance. My advice back: don't talk about things you know nothing about.
1. Single parenthood, while not ideal, is not evil. My mom was raised in a single-parent household from age 11. She has been married 40 years and her offspring have been stable, non-destructive citizens. It is not the worst thing on earth.
2. Until you have wished your parents would divorce, don't knock the practice. I have no idea what divorce is like, but I have countless friends who were grateful their parents divorced, or wish their parents would divorce. Until I walk in their shoes, I have no comment and neither should you.
3. I find it ironic that you insist parents should sacrifice everything for their kids, be home for them, attend all their events, and never be gone from their lives. I knew parents like that, and their kids not only never finished high school, but they had little coping skills because everything had been done for them, or "sugar-coated" for them so they would know no difficulties. Life isn't like that. My mom and dad went out without me, attended about 80% of my events, and made it clear that while I was extremely important, I was not numero uno-I had to share their time with siblings, careers, etc. While kids should be a top priority, they do not have to be number one EVERYTIME.

What is most glaring though is your lack of historical content. You hold up post WWII (1950's/60's) as the banner eyar for marriage and family. Not only was there fewer societal problems, in your opinion, but people got married and stayed married, for the betterment of their children.
A. Marriage existed before that time period, and the previous thousand years or so did not usually include love. Marriage, at various times, was a business contract, a way to combine wealth, a way to legitimize an "oops" pregnancy (premarital sex is nothing new)and a way to create farmhands. But love was not a part of the picture till "modern times".
B. Societal problems existed in your glamour years, but they weren't talked about. Since no one reported child abuse, drug abuse, alsoholism, or molestations, there is no way to know what the statistics are, but ask the survivors and they will verify that all these things were present then, as they are now.
C. But most importantly, the beautifully married couples of the 1950's are the grandparents of today. They raised the people that can't seem to find their heads from their assholes, and these idiots are now the ones trying to raise children while they marry, divorce, marry, divorce, and engage in destructive lifestyles. Your couples who "stayed together for the children" apparently didn't do any favors for the future generations-they just created a great statistic.

Is society worse off than in the past? No. Is this generation any more selfish? No. There will always be loving parents do the best they can. There will always be idiots, raising idiots. And there will always be the one child, for whatever reason, who escapes the poverty and desperation, and does better. Human beings are human beings and will continue to be so till God says we are done, not when you say so.

Sunday, November 01, 2009


I cannot believe that the last time I blogged was the end of September!!!!!!! Yikes-I have been slacking here. Well, I can't say I will get better but I can tell where I have been.
Facebook. Facebook. Facebook. Guess what? I love Facebook!!! It is fast, I can post a few lines even with the kids whining, and the best part-it doesn't really take much brain function. So for those of you who are on Facebook, whether you admit it or not, look for me there.
But since I am here today, I should write something worth while. See the pressure is on to write a well structured paragraph, whereas with Facebook I just need a few sentences of witty.
So instead of being witty I will do a quick update.
Last week, I got sick. Passed it onto Noah, who has never been sick before. He got it much harder than me and after a suspicious bout of looking blue, we took him to the ER. We did it just to be safe-not because he looked like he was struggling, and wouldn't you know it-once we got there he looked pink again. Still, we did the follow-up with our family doctor and discovered that Noah and I had a mild version of the Swine Flu. Could have knocked me over!!!! I had the seasonal flu 4 years ago and felt 10x worse!!!! I know the Swine Flu can be bad, and there are different versions but despite what the media will tell you, it is not the Second Coming. Noah and I are much better, Halloween was fun, and Nick and Asa never got it. So there you go.