Dear Dr. Laura

Dear Dr. Laura:

I am almost done reading your book "10 Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Children". I thought I might learn someting about being a better parent. I was wrong. However, I did learn something else. As scary as it sounds, I agree with you, in part. I agree that more people should take responsibility as a parent and do better. I agree with you that people should stop having babies for the wrong reasons. I agree with you that children should be a higher priority with politicians, and as we shape policy for the future.
However, after that, you only show me your ignorance. My advice back: don't talk about things you know nothing about.
1. Single parenthood, while not ideal, is not evil. My mom was raised in a single-parent household from age 11. She has been married 40 years and her offspring have been stable, non-destructive citizens. It is not the worst thing on earth.
2. Until you have wished your parents would divorce, don't knock the practice. I have no idea what divorce is like, but I have countless friends who were grateful their parents divorced, or wish their parents would divorce. Until I walk in their shoes, I have no comment and neither should you.
3. I find it ironic that you insist parents should sacrifice everything for their kids, be home for them, attend all their events, and never be gone from their lives. I knew parents like that, and their kids not only never finished high school, but they had little coping skills because everything had been done for them, or "sugar-coated" for them so they would know no difficulties. Life isn't like that. My mom and dad went out without me, attended about 80% of my events, and made it clear that while I was extremely important, I was not numero uno-I had to share their time with siblings, careers, etc. While kids should be a top priority, they do not have to be number one EVERYTIME.

What is most glaring though is your lack of historical content. You hold up post WWII (1950's/60's) as the banner eyar for marriage and family. Not only was there fewer societal problems, in your opinion, but people got married and stayed married, for the betterment of their children.
A. Marriage existed before that time period, and the previous thousand years or so did not usually include love. Marriage, at various times, was a business contract, a way to combine wealth, a way to legitimize an "oops" pregnancy (premarital sex is nothing new)and a way to create farmhands. But love was not a part of the picture till "modern times".
B. Societal problems existed in your glamour years, but they weren't talked about. Since no one reported child abuse, drug abuse, alsoholism, or molestations, there is no way to know what the statistics are, but ask the survivors and they will verify that all these things were present then, as they are now.
C. But most importantly, the beautifully married couples of the 1950's are the grandparents of today. They raised the people that can't seem to find their heads from their assholes, and these idiots are now the ones trying to raise children while they marry, divorce, marry, divorce, and engage in destructive lifestyles. Your couples who "stayed together for the children" apparently didn't do any favors for the future generations-they just created a great statistic.

Is society worse off than in the past? No. Is this generation any more selfish? No. There will always be loving parents do the best they can. There will always be idiots, raising idiots. And there will always be the one child, for whatever reason, who escapes the poverty and desperation, and does better. Human beings are human beings and will continue to be so till God says we are done, not when you say so.