Thursday, October 25, 2007

Good Parenting

Right now I am surrounded by reproduction. Most of my friends either have young children or are working on acquiring some (this is a public space-no details needed.) I can't help but stop and think back to the blissful days when I had parenting down to a science. Um, that would be before Asa arrived. Now that he is here, I can't resist passing on my two cents.

1. For new parents to be, and new parents, I would say this: ignore most of what you hear!!!! Doens't that sound like an oxymoron-take MY advice and ignore everyone else's. The truth is, if I had a dime for every piece of crap I heard, we would be in Disney World right now. I was told not to paint the nursery because lifting my arms above my head would strangle the baby. I heard that my intestinal woes were all in my head, that I didn't nap enough, I got to much exercise, and my personal favorite-I wouldn't be able to drive myself to the hospital once labor started. Um, I did drive myself to the hospital, after I stopped by the post office, and I was in labor the whole time.
You will encounter a few gems. My sister gave me some fo the best advice-don't try and change your baby's schedule during the holidays; wait till after the holidays when things aren't so crazy. Getting Asa to sleep in a crib went like a dream-once I waited for January. And whoever suggested going on car rides to get a baby to sleep is my personal hero. We still use that one. But be prepared to be freaked out and scared by worthless crap that is only designed to send you to your doctor in panic.

2. Always, always remember that no one knows your kid like you do-trust your instinct/judgement.
When Asa was first born, everyone told me he needed to nap, needed to nap, needed to nap. Yeah-I heard it all the time. Numerous crying episodes later-by him, not me-we gave up on the formal nap times. Listening to him cry in his crib for 30 minutes, so he might sleep 20, didn't seem worth it. And I knew that but I was afraid as a parent I was doing something wrong. I should have trusted my gut, which was neither myself, nor Nick, were much at napping so it wasn't a stretch to think Asa wouldn't be either. For good or bad, nobody will love your kid like you will and no one should know him/her better. Don't be afraid to say that you will try something new, but don't be intimidated to do what you feel is right.

3. The last bit of advice I can give is one I kind of ignored and wished I had paid closer attention too.
Don't ever, ever worry about getting your kids toys. We thought we were being cautious when we only registered for a few educational toys. We failed to factor in grandma and grandpa-both sets. The four of them have gotten Asa anything we might have missed. In addition, my kid seems to be willing to touch anything he isn't suppose to, and ignore the appropriate stuff. He isn't special-kids have a built in desire to touch sharp knives, hot stoves, and anything disgustingly dirty. I fI had a quarter for every rock I found in my house, we would not only be at Disney World, but doing the cruise package along with it.

As a parent, you will make mistakes. It is the nature of the beast-you get this alien with no instructions who doesn't even speak your language. I may never be a good parent, but I will be the parent trying to be her best.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Great post!

The advice that I hold on to? Remember you are a parent first; friend second. This probably won't make a lot of difference until Asa is a little older, but you can see a difference in how kids act when they have a set of parents that have set boundries verssus those that haven't.