In another life, I wasn't so nice

Tonight, I am having dinner with a friend I haven't really seen in years. We grew up together, lost contact in high school (even though we were at the same school), and after all these years are re-connecting. I haven't got their permission to use their name on a public space, but for those of you who are curious, it is Lori (note the spelling Alina.)
Seeing Lori brings back memories of high school. How cannot it not? It was one of the last places I saw her other than the grocery store. Most of us struggle through high school and I really was no different. There didn't seem to be a place for a book-lovin', football fanatic who had no love of make-up or high heeled shoes. And even though I am not sure I would live those years over again (excpet for the waistline and ability to eat whatever I wanted), I do wish I could go back and apologize to all the students I didn't understand.
My sister hung out with some people I had known in high school but kind of lost contact with. One of the guys had always struck me as standoffish and a little on the snobby side so I never got closer other than the occasional "hi". Imagine my surprise when my sister informed me that "Jethro's" mother had had cancer when we were in high school and Jethro had worked 40 hours a week PLUS attended school full-time. It was just Jethro and his mom; he had to be the breadwinner. Well shit, no wonder he didn't talk much-the kid was probably exhausted and my petty rants about football games probably didn't rate compared to chemo treatments.
Although I didn't talk to a lot of people, I know I didn't have a lot of posistive thoughts for the "losers"-the kids who just couldn't seem to get it together. I know teenagers aren't noted for their capacity to understand, but I still wish I could go back to all those "losers" and apologize. To say I am sorry that I didn't understand, or comprehend, the problems you faced outside school. That I am sorry I was so inarticulate and shy that I came off as an airhead and maybe creepy. That I wish I had had more capacity to care. The best thing about aging, and compensation for a sagging ass, is that we learn. We learn to be better, smarter, hopefully more giving, and how to be a better human being. I may not have been inherently cruel in high school, but I like to think I am much more forgiving and understanding now than...gulp...over fifteen years ago.
Now I try to see people in a different light. I am not Pollyanna, and I have the people I dislike, but I try to cut them some slack and put myself in their shoes. How bad do their feet hurt? What did it take them to get to this point? Did anyone give them a hug or tell them are loved at all? And I am sorry to anyone in high school who thought I didn't care. I didn't, and that is what I am sorry for most.