Why, why, why?

Okay, I am bitching as a parent.
I understand that Asa is three and has some life lessons left to learn. So I go to his room and I physically point out the things we need to pick up. This is kind of how my conversation went tonight:
"Asa, please pick up your blocks. No, leave the shoe alone, get the blocks. Okay, you can pick up the train instead."
"Your trains are all picked up, get the blocks."
"Now get your book."
Asa physically turns his whole body all the way around, steps forward onto the book and looks up, "where is the book mommy?"
To my credit, I kept a civil tongue and told him he was standing on it but inside I am thinking, how the hell do you STAND on the book and not know where it is?!?!?!?
Asa did all this with one shoe off and one shoe on-just like the nursery rhyme. Why he only took one shoe off I have no idea.

A Record Setter

Hey, guess what??? My indoor plant has been alive since July!!!! This is the longest I have kept an indoor plant alive-EVER. Funny thing about indoor plants-they have to be watered. Granted it is an aloe vera plant and the upkeep is minimal, but considering my track record, I am pretty excited. I know that outdoor plants have to be watered as well, but in this area of the United States, I only have to make the effort for about three months out of the year, and some years it is only two months! It usually doesn't get warm until the end of June, and around August when I crap out and get sick of making the yard at least presentable, cooler weather and rains return and I am off the hook.
So now when I look at my aloe vera plant, I always think to myself "ahhh, there is the little plant that could".
And by the way, I have killed a cactus and ruined Top Ramen. Domestication is not a strong suit in my family.

Remember When...

I am going to get on my soapbox today and talk about those chain e-mails that float around the internet entitled "Remember When..."
I see these in slightly different forms but they all amount to the same thing-remember when the world was great and right now sucks? Children played outside, people ran with scissors, and we all survived. It is human nature to remember the good but as a history nut, let me do my own version of "Remember When..." Some of these, it is pretty obvious they are before my time and some are from my life time, but they are all from the United States.

Remember When...
*It was okay to morally and legally discriminate...
*Nutritional Diseases were very common due to food being seasonal...
*Jackie Robinson was going to ruin Baseball...
*The biggest drug dealer in East Multnomah County was in four of my HIGH SCHOOL classes when he was arrested...
*Mental Health consisted of two sides-you were crazy or you weren't...
*Talking about any form of birth control, including abstinence, was punishable by a prison term...
*Contracting polio was a very real fear for children...
*Issues like child and spousal abuse, incest, alcoholism, and rape were never discussed and the victims had to suffer in silence...
*If you had a learning disability you simply failed school...
*It could take days to simply travel out of state...
*Giving Women and "Blacks" the right to vote was going to ruin this country...
*Meat Plants could legally boost their hamburger product by adding things like sawdust, metal shavings, and anything else they choose...
*Your employer could demand you work 7 days a week, or you could be fired...
*Children under the age of 10 could legally work, even in dangerous conditions...
*We polluted the water, air, and soil to the detrement of our health and other animals...
*Smoking was socially acceptable and done publically indoors...
*There was no financial aid for colleges...
*Wallpaper included prints for ugly flowers and paisley designs. (Ugh!)

Nothing is perfect, not then-whenever "then" was-and not now. We have some real problems. But we also have some real good things going on, even with the economy as it is. So why is that minors under 18, who are statistically safer than they have ever been before, have one of the fastest climbing suicide rates? Why do they view things as so bad?
If you send me one of these e-mails, I won't go balistic on you, but I never pass them on either. Delete can be a wonderful thing.

Never Look Bored

Last night at 11:00p I heard "uhhhhhhh" coming from Asa's room. Sigh-this means I have to go be mom and find out why he is up that late. I am warm and toasty on the couch! But I go up there and again I hear "uhhhhhhh".
"Honey, why are you still up?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh."
"Honey, what is wrong?"
"Uhhhhhhhh."
"Mommy doesn't know what that means-What Is Wrong!?


Okay, those are the words that came out of my mouth but apparently they were code for something else because Asa sits up, and promptly throws up all over his comforter, sheets, pillows, and favorite lovey. Oh goody-laundry!!! Because I was sooooo bored enjoying a quiet moment to myself!!!!
And for those of you that are medical minded-Asa coughed so much he just brought up what was in his stomach. Of course, that doesn't mean it smelled any better but at least it is just a nasty cold and not the flu.

For The Holiday-Still

You can't tell, but I have sat down to work on this blog three different times! It was suppose to be something for St. Valentines and since we are still in the right month, I am going to go for it. But if I sound like I am hopelessly behind, it is because I am.
I was asked if I thought of former "loves". Yep, sure do. Do I wonder about the roads I didn't travel? Yep, sure do. Any regrets? No, not when it comes to relationships. I don't have to edit this part of my life for a family blog-all the "loves" of my life, inclduing those that I engaged in orginal sin with can be counted on one hand, with missing fingers. You can call me a bitch and a book addict but a slut is way off base.
Do I still love the guy I went out with in high school. Yep. I believe in high school romance, and I believe teenagers can fall in love because I sure did-big time. But I love the 16 year old I knew. I have no idea what he his like now, if he is even a worthy human being. 20 years is a long time to change and grow.
So how do I know I love my husband? When I think of Mr. High School, I wonder what became of him. When I think of my husband, the father of my children, and the man I have built a life with, I can't help but smile. I am smiling as I write this! I can be totally pissed at "Mr. Wonderful", and if I think of him, I smile. Because the truth is, while no one has made me as mad as he has, no other man has brought me as much joy either. He is rude, crass, totally honest, and makes me laugh like no other. We have different hobbies, different likes, and even had different ideas on what to name our sons. And I love him to bits. Only God knows why.
So on St. Valentines Day, Nick knows better than to get me flowers or chocolates-of which both I disdain. He agrees to go to a musuem with me in honor of the 150th anniversary of Oregon statehood.
Cost of push-up bra to help boobs feel attractive-$25
Cost of typical girly things loser ex-boyfriend from college would bought-$50
Getting your husband to do something he hates because he loves you-priceless

Rules For Chillin' With My Babies

People are so nice. Or at least they are nicer than me. When people watch my kids, they always ask me about special food they like, what tv shows are appriorate, am I okay with certain activities,etc.,etc. Me-I live in a fog. If your kid can't do what my kid can...oops, to late. They all got to watch Sponge Bob! It isn't that I don't care, I just DON"T think of it.
However, since enough people brought it up, I have decided to let everyone know what the rules are for hanging with my kids. Reader beware-you will be held to these standards.

1. Please respect my kids. At this age, Super Hero's rule. Later, it may be their art. Still later, they may like horrible music. Whatever it is that they hold special, please don't ridicule them.
2. Please don't give my kids meth as a snack. Okay most people know that, but seriously, as long as you try to give them something healthy, I am okay with that.
3. Please don't let my kids play in traffic or give them sharp things to play with. You can't possible baby-proof your home of every single danger; Asa has bruises from running into the wall. Just hide the scissors and don't play in the street.
4. Please don't hit my kids. Hey, one cries all the time because he is 3 and one cries all the time because he is a baby-my kids drive me nuts sometimes. If you have to put them in a room and give yourself 10 minutes peace, I understand that. But save anything worse for the pillows.

Um, okay, that covers it. It sounds simple because it is. One day of sugary snacks will not scar them for life, and neither will a day of sitting in front of the boob tube. Besides, seeing that other households do things differently than us is really good for them. The best way for my kid to discover "diversity" is to see it up close and personal and if they have to say grace at the Jones', or get to have Super Sugar Fruit Snacks at the Smiths', it shows them that different people do diffferent things. Besides, the truth is, there is nothing you can do to my kids in one day, short of violence and abuse, that I can't fix later on. If you see my kids every day, that is another story. But few people do so, no worries. Now who's ready to babysit?!?!?!?!

The Letter of the Day Is...P

So I am reading Erin's blog and she listed ten things she likes that start with the letter K. Erin was reading another blog, saw this idea, and they assigned her a letter. Erin then invited us, the reading public, to e-mail her and she to would assign us a letter and we could join in the fun, or is it phun? Anyway, I answered the call, and got the letter P. So here are ten things that make me happy, that start with the letter P. And by the by, I am more than willing to assign someone a letter if they want to respond to this blog and continue the love.

Pinkie-I no longer sleep with my childhood blankie but she lives in my garage and my heart. Lots of fond memories dragging this thing all over with me. Okay, she (yes, she) was pink and white and since White-y sounded lame, Pinkie it was, and still is.

Psych-I love this show!!! It is on USA, new episodes on Friday nights. It is goofy, corny, and not very intellectually in-depth. Just what I need after a hard week.

Portland Metro-area (Oregon)- Okay, maybe I'm stretching here, but I love where I live. Beautiful scenery, close to the beach, the mountains, and the high desert. We are a 6 hour drive from a huge metropolitian area, Vancouver BC, and it is a foreign country to boot. We are less than 2 hours from the middle of NOWHERE. Wherever you want to go, we are near.

Perry Mason-Yes, yes, yes-I admit it. I am a Perry Mason groupie!! I not only love the show but it does make me happy. I remember watching this show with my mom when I was little, when I was sick, and when I was unemployed. Even though my son is not thrilled with it, I love watching with him because he is the 4th generation to watch this show-my mom watched it with her mom. Traditions, traditions, traditions-who says tv is all bad?

Pillows-Ever try to sleep without one? Enough said.

Pain Pills-Ever try to cope without them? I am not talking about addictions, but even simple migraines and sore ankles feel a lot better with these babies.

Pals-Where would we be without the friends and pals who makes us laugh, cry, and remind us of how lucky we are to have them in our lives.

Paperback Books-the orginal laptop, it is a member of my favorite hobby-reading. I have hundreds of these at home so I must really like them.

Pennsylvania-10 years ago I had an epiphany. I had yet to discover my career, and I had never been east of Las Vegas, Nevada. So I checked out this new fangled thing they called the internet, looked for some internships, and headed to places unknown. I landed in State College, Pa. and it was one of the best things I have EVER done. I made friends, had experiences, and saw things I have never seen before. It was awesome.

Paleotology-Um, my spelling might be wrong. But basically, I am talking about the study of dinosaurs. I had a passing interest in this topic-dinosaur bones are cool. But if you had told me a year ago I would put this on my list, I would have been surprised. But now I have a 3 year old son who loves dinosaurs, and I love that he loves them! His enthusiasm is unlimited, and I love watching him learn something new. He can pronounce parasarollophus, tell you that triceratops lived in herds, and dinosaurs never flew or swam-but their friends did. He has dinosaur books, jammies, clothes, and toys. He knows that Eusaropteron (spelling?) was a fish, and the plattiosaurus ate plants. Now can someone explain to me why the kid that can say anklyosauraus needs me to ask him 10 times to pick up his toys?!?!?

One Track Mind

If you didn't think I was a geek before, maybe this will change your mind:

We are taking Nick to work tonight and we pass a vehicle that says "Border Patrol" on the side of it and all I can think is "When did Border's get their own vehicles? Why does a bookstore need it's own vehicles? That's pretty cool."
Then Nick comments about Border Patrol being in Oregon and the spell is broken. At least we know where my mind goes when it travels.

Do You Know ME?

So I am copying Erin's idea (public kudos to her here!)-in honor of her birthday (well, maybe honor is the wrong word but you get my drift) she listed 33 things about herself we, the reading public may not have known. And guess what? I learned something's about her! So I am doing the same thing only I have to list 36. Um, my birthday isn't till June so I am not lying!!


1. I consider myself a book addict-I have bought books simply because I was depressed and needed a quick pick me up.
2. I have also bought books and never read them. Bad Dena, bad.
3. If I could only meet one famous, living person, it would be William Bass. He started the ARF facility in Tennessee. He is a giant in the forensic science world.
4. If I am going on an interview, I ALWAYS wear Navy Blue.
5. I think Cocker Spaniels are an ugly dog.
6. I hate stupid people. Not unknowledgeable people-we all have things to learn. But stupid people, no matter the IQ, piss me off.
7. My music tastes are beyond ecletic-I love Nat King Cole just as much as I love Keith Urban, Rosemary Clooney, the BeeGees, and Soundgarden.
8. My absolute favorite movie is "Charade", with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn.
9. If I am ever on a game show, my "stupid story" will be that I used to get grounded from the library when I was a kid.
10. If I am ever on "Wheel of Fortune" during sports week, I am picking Howie Long as my partner.
11. I think if Scott Joplin had lived a few more years, he would be a lot more famous. He is a song-writer/musician, and everyone knows his music from ice cream trucks.
12. If I could change one thing about my body, I would have thicker hair. If I could change two things I would include better vision.
13. I may never do it, but I know if I want to, I can change careers.
14. People who don't have kids or grandchildren, but with stuffed animals peeking out the back of their car window, scare me.
15. It pisses me off that I still bite my nails and forget to empty my pockets before I throw in my clothes in the laundry.
16. I want to go to Antartica some day.
17. I lik Cher as an actress, but not really into her music.
18. I only wear white socks.
19. I love summer.
20. I hate pickles.
21. The worst job I ever had was being a lifeguard-you have to watch everyone else have fun.
22. Prince John from Robin Hood (1973) is my favorite Disney, animated character.
23. People who wallow in their problems annoy me. Find a solution to your problems, or find someone who can help you. If the first idea doesn't work, try again.
24. I regret that I wasn't an exchange student in college.
25. In a chance meeting, over 10 years after graduating high school, I ran into my guidance counselor and I am proud I had the guts to approach him and tell him how grateful I was for his help.
26. I am grateful for the friends and family I have-it is lonely with no one to love.
27. I still have my favorite blanket and stuffed animal from childhood.
28. My most favorite drink is Coke.
29. I love watching football-go Ducks!
30. I hate the smell of over-ripe bananas.
31. I am a pop snob-I will only drink name-brands.
32. I still sleep with a nightlight on.
33. I know it's popular, but I just can't get into the new Reality Tv shows.
34. I have really cute feet.
35. Build-A-Bear stores and clowns freak me out.
36. Whoever invented running hot water for every house is my hero. I know it doesn't come that way naturally.

United For What?

Just when I think I have gotten as angry as I am gonna get at politics, we reach new heights.
The Republicans are all excited that they united in their vote against Obama's stimulus package. Granted, it did them no good, but still, they feel he didn't provide enough tax cuts, and they feel that by showing a united front, the American Public will see that they are not going to allow extravagant spending.
That might seem well and noble, if we hadn't just gone through the last 8 years watching the Republican Party basically hand FORMER (hooray!!!) President Bush a blank check to spend how he wanted. Which I will add that the last 8 years I have watched my tax dollars go overseas to a country that isn't sure they even want us there.
I agree, Obama is spending a lot. But the guy as A LOT to fix and what is the difference between a lot of money overseas, or a lot of money spent domestically? Oh right, if the money is spent here in the USA I might see a benefit from it.
I thought the Republican party was out of touch when they announced the Sarah Palin was their future. Now they just seem like a footnote in history. If they didn't have a few women in their ranks, I would call them a bunch of out-of-touch, old farts. Oh wait, women do fart too. The Republican party is just a bunch of ancient farts.