The Ties That Bond

Well, tis' the season for weddings. We have been invited to many, finally able to attend one-and of course this is the weekend that Oregon finally comes out of 55 degree weather and instantly catapults itself into a forecasted 97. Can we say extreme's?
But a few weeks ago I was asked if I could give advice to a newly, married couple what would it be, and then a few days ago someone asked me what it was that attracted me to my husband since we didn't seem to have much in common ( I am paraphrasing here Heather!)
Let me sum up my answer to both questions-DON"T MARRY FOR LOVE!!!!
Nick and I have an almost storybook romance-written by a troll. He was 18 when I met him-practically jail bait since I was already looking forward to turning 21(yikes-younger men!) He had to chase me for 9 months, and then we seemed to argue about everything. If I wanted steak, he wanted chicken. If I was in the mood for a comedy movie, he wanted drama. I studied enough to pass, and skipped class at the drop of hat, while he studied all the time and thought I was some wayward rebel. Girl Scouts gone wild.
However, in the end, what really mattered was less the physical stuff, and where we wanted to go in the future. Education was huge to both of us and we spent the first four years of our relationship getting us both through college. Family mattered-current members in 1994 and the ones we would add at an appriopriate time (like Asa and Thing 2). We agreed on finances, where we eventually wanted to live, and the type of people we liked to hang with and be friends with (freeloaders, druggies, and thieves need not apply). And really importantly, we agreed to disagree and not stamp on each other's individuality. This is hard at times. I have had to choke back a snicker as Nick headed out the door in wrinkled tan shorts matched by an equally wrinkled tan shirt. When you roll your clean clothes up in a little ball...and tan on tan is not a fashion statement. And Nick has politely stayed home when I met up with some girlfriends he didn't care for, even though they were good people. But at the end of the day, it is nice to know my bank account wasn't emptied and I won't suddenly be left to raise two kids on my own because "Guido the Thug" is looking for my husband, who "owes him". Hey, people have told me about the Dr. Laura radio show-that stuff happens, but not to me.
Do I love Nick? You bet. And people would say that of course you love the people that fit into your lifestyle. I can't argue with that. But for me, it just happens to be a bonus, along with the fact that Nick picks out good produce at the grocery store and likes watching football with me. I am a lucky person.